little moments

Believe it or not, I've been a little emotional today.

(I can just see my friends and family rolling their eyes - Mandy and Trina specifically)

I've been 'a little emotional' a lot lately.

Its just that I stare around me and I am constantly hit with how fast time is going.

Does the earth actually spin faster the older we get?

It feels like it.

I want my kids to stay little.

Or at least not to ever leave Elementary school.

Cause I am pretty sure I cannot deal with Middle School and High School.

Nope. Not gonna do it.

We have fun ages in our house right now.

9, 6, 5(in about 3 weeks), 2 and baby.

Great ages.

Hard ages.

It is hard a lot.

Its loud and I swear at times we break the sound barrier.

I feel overwhelmed and suffocated periodically.

Jordan is gone a lot. He seems to work constantly.

The kids fight.

I yell.

But this is a season.

And its a short season.

I cant tell you how many 'older' mom's have told me that lately.

And told me to hold on while I can.

And I literally do tell myself many times during the day, 'Soon they will not be here on a Saturday, soon they wont come to me with all their needs, soon they wont want to be carried and snuggled, soon I wont get to wipe their little hands and faces.'

Today was one of the days where even their imperfections seemed cute to me.

And then I went to the grocery store when Jordan got home from working and

Brad Paisley came on singing this...

"I know they're not perfect but they try so hard for me

And I thank god that they aren't 'cause how boring would that be

It's the little imperfections it's the sudden change in plans

When we misread the directions and we're lost but holdin' hands

Yeah I live for little moments like that."

See, I told you - sappy and emotional.

So here is a snippet of the cute imperfections of the day:

1. Lauren. She has a serious sense of what is right/wrong fair/unfair.

Normally I love it in her. But sometimes, especially when she is feeling gipped by her little sister, Avery, I get annoyed. Today she was in tears because Avery was not being patient with her. I scolded Lauren. Afterwards I realized that her tender heart is so sweet and I need to enjoy it while I can. And wipe away her tears while they are still this innocent.

And wow, her eyes are really really blue when they are filled with tears.

2. Avery. She is really taking off with reading. And writing. She is constantly writing.

And asking us how to spell things. I actually really love that. It is very fun to watch your child learn to read. Today she wanted to spell exclamation point. I believe in a hurry, I said, Avery its too long of a word.

So she walked away and did it herself - this is what she came up with -

'eclcshmashnpoet'

Could anything be cuter?

She's not the greatest speller - but she tries REAL hard!

3. Sulivan. He got to spend the night at my mom's last night. She called while he was there and said he was a delight and a joy and she loved playing 'boy toys' with him. She said he reminded her of 6 other little boys she used to spend time with. When he got home he went around to his sisters telling them he missed them. It was adorable.

Then he got to Tess and said, "Tess, I didn't actually miss you...

cause I had a dream about you and you were mean!"

Sully is honest to a fault!

He also told me today that someday he and his wife will have a sleepover with me so I'm not missing him.

He's also incredibly aware of his mom's emotional roller coaster of late!

4. Tess. Tess informed me today that pooping in her diaper is fun.

Enough said.

5. Jordan. He works too much. I am reaching a breaking point with it. But he keeps reminding me that we have a weekend get away coming up soon and that I basically need to chill a little.

His form of encouragement is sometimes the 'Mandy Yoder - rub a little dirt on it and move on' type. And he usually adds in some humor. It gets me more worked up more often than not. But he is pretty funny. And he also reminds me a lot that he loves me more than anything. He also listens to WAY too much Weezer!

(the baby doesn't get any listed because she's too sweet to have imperfections...so far!)

And you know...after writing about all their imperfections I noticed that it was more about MY imperfections. (choke) And I hope they forgive me for mine and find them as 'cute' as I found theirs today!

Ah, little moments...

Winter fun!

Yesterday a group of us visited the 'Indoor Park' in CF.

Oh boy did the kids have fun.

Especially the 'big' boys.

Sullivan is so ready for kindergarten.

He loves being with boys his age and smiles from ear to ear.

I love watching it.

(And trying not to wish he was still 2.)

I love to watch boys play - always wrestling and tackling.

They had quite the train going for awhile of vehicles.

Tess wasn't so sure about all the commotion at first.

But she came around!

And had fun with her own little friends!

And I just had to show how adorable Riggs is!

Add it to the list...

We took the kids to watch the junior high basketball game tonight to support the coach - Papa Dennis.

We've gone before and I typically feel like I am parading my children through many bulging eyes. We are kind of spectacle. And we normally get lots of nice comments and encouragement.

Tonight's was hilarious.

This older woman grabbed my arm as I was bringing up the caboose of our train of family.

She says, 'Are you the mother of ALL THESE children?'

I proudly responded, 'Yep!'

She said, 'How many are there?'

I told her, 'We have 5.'

'Really!!' say says, 'It looks like more...'

That was when I burst out laughing.

When I reached Jordan I told her what she said and he said, 'You should have told her it FEELS like more.'

I could really write a book on all the funny/rude/shocking comments our brood brings out. Honestly, I love it. It keeps me laughing.

And really, its only 5.

We could have like 17 or something...

2 month stats

Torrance had her 2 month well child appt today. Almost 3 weeks late...

She weighs 11lb 3 ou. Exactly 4 pounds more than at birth. And 25th% - little peanut.

She is 22.9inches long about 35th%

And her head is also 35th% - so proud - usually my kids have huge heads!

Our dr. said she was looking perfect. And she flashed him some of her amazing smiles and even giggled at him which I'm telling you, that giggle is like the most precious sound - EVER!

Before we left the house Avery was in tears not wanting Torrance to get shots - she is so sweet. Lucky for her she had school and didn't attend the appointment.

Torrance screamed bloody murder for 15 seconds with her shots and then was completely fine. I however, started crying. Pretty sure that is the first time I've ever cried over their shots. Weird.

Here's how the other kids looked at 2 months.

Lauren 11 lbs. 3 ou.
Avery 10 lbs 13 ou.
Sullivan 12 lbs 13 ou. (Man was he tub or what?!)
Tess 10 lbs 3 ou.

So grateful for healthy, happy, growing kids!

Sleeping Beauty lives at my house...

Monday

It was Monday.

I cleaned.

I'm getting back into my groove since having Torrance.

It usually takes me a couple months!

Here's some random recent pics.

Jordan loves to have Torrance sit next to him like a big girl.

Sully loves to flash horrible smiles at the camera!

I have no idea...

But she kept doing it...and they were both silly.

This picture is just total preciousness to me.

It makes my heart happy.

So does she.

Tess let her use her Belle doll - a sign of pure love.

Torrance is a thumb sucker.

If she's not eating...she's got her thumb or fist.

Its really cute. But when she's almost 5 it wont be...that would be you Sullivan.

HOPE

I had this word on my heart a lot lately...hope.

My dad used to talk about hope a lot. He used to say that we don't understand the real meaning. That we use the term too casually. Like, 'I sure hope that I win the lottery.'

We hope for things that we really don't believe will ever happen.

But if we look at this word in scripture it isnt a 'hope for the uncertain', rather hope is a certainty, it is faith. Waiting on our Savior to fulfill what He has promised.

I stumbled upon these verses on one of the blogs I check - (and you all know how I LOVE to see God's hand at work - showing me these verses just at the time that I was really pondering the word Hope!)

Romans 8:24-25

For in this HOPE we are saved.

(I love this...we are saved in hope...in hope that He is coming back to fulfill His promises and make us whole.)

But HOPE that is seen is no HOPE at all.

Who HOPES for what they already have?

(And I love this, kind of sarcastic...duh! Who hopes for something they already have? No, we must hope for what we dont know or understand. That is faith...We hope for Him to complete His work and then we will understand)

But if we HOPE for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

(ahhh, waiting patiently...not my strong point. But I'm getting better at it...old age will do that to you. This may be why God put the word on my heart...wait PATIENTLY. That word doesn't describe me!)

Psalm 16:9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in HOPE. (Resting in His hope. Also not my strong point...but He is asking me to rest. To rely. To trust in Him. To HOPE...that His promises are true, real, living and coming.)

Titus 2:13

Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Savior Jesus Christ.

(Can you read that verse and not feel your heart start beating faster? I can't! To me that is Hope. A hope worth being patient for. Looking to the sky and knowing that my Savior is coming back for me from those clouds. That is awesome in a nutshell.)

These verses were good for my heart. A reminder that Hope is not me crossing my fingers and pacing and 'hoping' that things are going to turn around for good.

Nope. Hope is me putting my trust in Him. And resting. SURE that things are going to go for His good.

Resting assurance. That is my definition of HOPE.

never fear...I am here

Wow, that was a rough rough 24 hours.

But I am feeling so much better now and I think I'll wake up feeling normal.

And a couple of things I was reminded of ... I have wonderful friends who are concerned about me...and I have an awesome husband and mom who take such good care of me!

Good night!

double whaMMy

Well my new motto did not work out for me on my first day.

I got the two M's instead.

Migraine

Mastitis

2 hours at the dr., 3 shots, 1 antibiotic later...I'm on the mend.

But that was so NOT awesome.

thursday

I had an 'ick' late afternoon/evening yesterday.

I was just down and kind of weepy.

Not sure why.

Which probably bothers me the most.

And it is really not me.

But then I read this on one of the blogs I read regularly.

And so I decided that is my new motto.

I like it.

Short and sweet.

And kind of sarcastic.

kind of like me.

credit

This little girl does not get nearly enough credit.

She is an amazing big sister.

Her and Tess's relationship has changed since Torrance's birth.

They are getting closer.

Tonight Tess went straight for Avery when she was upset.

My two middle girls...tough spots to be in.

It was precious.

Avery is precious.

------------------------------------

This one might get a little too much credit for being able to play on her own without any trouble.

This is what she did after her bath while we weren't paying attention...

there was toothpaste in her hair and all over the counter.

But she is giving potty training a shot.

And doing ok with it.

I'm not pushing too hard...I'll wait a bit before I get serious about it.

Right now she thinks its fun.

We'll go with that for awhile!

Also gotta give some credit to Cassie for my new blog header!

Thank you!

oh dear Babywise,

I thank you ...

Torrance slept from 8:30 last night till 6:30 this morning.

ahhhhhhhhhh

The Baby Whisper

Some people have a gift.

They can take a screaming baby and instantly calm them and get them drift off to sleep.

I do not possess this gift. At least not when I'm tired myself.

My husband does.

And apparently so does my 9 year old daughter.

Well ladies...

it can happen.

Jordan won his fantasy league.

he is ridiculously proud.

he told me how much he 'won' and I quickly came back with...'so what that's like a few pennies per hour that you spent on it?'

he shot back, 'you are not counting the entertainment value that I get out of it!'

yeah, that didn't do anything for me.

but I will be taking the $ and running. Cause that's the deal...whatever he wins, I get.

so I did cheer for him to win....

but man what a joke...I always say, 'what if I was in a fantasy shopping league?'

he always wants to know if its really that pathetic.

uh, yeah Jordan it is.

it is.

but I'm still taking my $ and running.

Signs of the future

I was picking up the house tonight and snapping pictures as I went...

I think I was feeling a little sentimental with the end of another Christmas season and the end of Christmas break because everywhere I looked

I noticed that things are so different than they were a couple of years ago.

This scene is becoming more and more common.

One or all three of them on the computer - playing games or browsing our friends' blogs.

This little peanut might still play with 'little girl toys' but she does it so independently its amazing. You would think that with three older siblings she would constantly want a playmate.

But she is always content to play alone.

And she talks like a grown-up.

She amazes me.

These two love having Wii battles.

So competitive.

I'm sure I will have this going on in my living room for many many years.

And I find these two doing this a lot.

They both love to read.

And they also love the new bunk beds in their room now...

They escape to their room together a lot.

At least this one still has to stick close to my side.

I'm torn between being extremely sad that my babies are all growing up and being extremely excited for all the fun things that we are able to do now and all the fun we will have in the future. Its true that bigger kids can do really fun things! But they don't cuddle as much and they just aren't babies anymore...Im trying to make my peace with that...cause soon I dont think I'll have much choice but to embrace it!

HAPPY 2011!!!!!

2011 is here!

Doesn't that sound like a year from a distant time? Like in the space age?

Our family had a terrific 2010...I started staying home, we had a wonderful family vacation to Florida,

lots of time outdoors, and we added another family member!

We capped the year off last night by squeezing in a very short visit with Jerod and Angie and then spent the evening with Nick and Stacie and my mom...eating lots of food and playing games. I even managed to stay up until 1:00 am. I was so proud.

We are excited for the new year and all it will bring.

I asked the kids to tell me what they are excited for and some of their answers included:

traveling to Buffalo, NY for Uncle Robert's wedding,

turning 10 years old!,

turning 7 years old!,

turning 5 years old!,

turning 3 years old!,

Sully starting kindergarten!,

Torrance crawling and walking,

using our new kayak,

a vacation in Chicago,

spending time with family,

bike rides,

cook outs,

swimming,

playing at the park with friends...

Welcome 2011!

We are excited to find out what you might hold for us!

(oh, and I decided that Happy New Year cards are much more fun than Christmas cards...

so my annual card will be coming next week! I know you were all holding your breaths in anticipation!)

I even miss the bad...

Moments of this Christmas were hard for me.

The hardest I've had since my dad died.

I think it was the realization I had this year that things aren't going to get better.

I wont fully heal from this.

I found myself under the tree in tears a lot.

Missing him, missing my childhood and

aching for others who I knew were spending their first christmases without a loved one.

I shared all this with my husband and told him I was tired of being sad and hurting.

In all his loving wisdom he reminded me that being sad isn't a bad thing...hurting isn't wrong.

That God wants me to have a soft heart and to need Him when I am down and weary.

That God cant do much with a hardened heart...He works with the soft and broken hearts...the ones longing for Him and asking Him for help.

And of course, he is right.

I don't want to be hard and calloused.

I don't want to be unfeeling and cold.

I want to learn from this pain and help others with theirs.

So that reminder was good.

But again, it doesn't stop the pain and it still cuts deep.

This year I seemed to be mostly remembering some of the funny/annoying things that made up my dad...the bad, if you will.

I find it humbling to learn that the things that used to drive me crazy about him...the things that made me leave his house in anger...are now, on our fifth Christmas without him, some of the things I miss the most.

So in honor of him and just so I don't forget any of these things -

here is my list of annoying things about my dad.

(and yes, as Jordan will tell you...I inherited many of these directly from him...poor Jordan)

*He required a lot of sleep. And he loved to nap.

He was famous for sneaking upstairs for a nap once a holiday or party started to wind down. We even invented 'Upstairs Christmas' to interrupt these naps...This involved all of us kids and the grandkids grabbing annoying and loud musical instruments and marching up to his room and playing and singing loudly and badly until he gave in and came back down.

*He required massive amounts of caffeine to combat this need for sleep.

His source of choice was iced tea. Mine is Mt. Dew.

*He was opinionated - I mean passionate!

Don't get him started on politics if you aren't ready for a big debate.

*He was ultra competitive.

We all inherited this one.

Many card games are ended with one team no longer on speaking terms with the other, screaming and slamming of doors...ok, maybe that was just me, but I still got it from him. And its not a real attractive trait.

*He had a massive temper.

Thankfully this eased a lot as he aged.

But I remember tiptoeing around the house as a kid when he was in a bad mood.

I remember complaining to my mom that I couldn't even talk to him at times because he got so angry. I remember slamming doors and stomping my feet because I was so angry BACK at him!

I'm so sorry I did this now. I wish I'd have tried harder to talk to him and figure him out instead.

*He was a pouter.

My dad could sulk.

Like a child.

He could put on a face and sit in his chair and stare at the tv unmoving

like no one I've ever met.

So can I.

*He was the king of sarcasm.

This just happens to be my family's love language.

The problem is that Im not sure anyone outside our family really ever knew if he was kidding or not...when in doubt - he was kidding.

*He told stupid jokes.

And thought he was very very funny.

I remember after church EVERY Sunday...we would pull into the drive way and he would say to my mom, "Barbara, RUN, I mean RUN into the house and get my lunch on the table."

She would glare at him and he would smirk.

And I'm sure she never walked slower into the house.

If you asked him to turn up the tv...he would take the remote and physically hold it up in the air higher and higher - turning it up.

He found it hysterical.

We did not.

This list of his 'jokes' could go on for pages....

*He had a crazy appetite and would often request 'second supper' at like 10 pm.

*He didn't do well on amusement park rides.

We arrived at Adventureland one year...did the tea cups and the Galleon and then my dad proceeded to get sick and spend the rest of our time there in the car.

*The sun gave him awful headaches.

I remember him wearing 2 and 3 sets of sunglasses

AT A TIME to try and keep the suns rays at bay.

It embarrassed me like crazy as a teenager.

But now I've been tempted to try this myself.

*He suffered from migraine headaches.

He missed out on lots of family fun due to these headaches.

And I know from experience how horrible they can be.

*He was a slob.

He would leave his socks and other clothes and towels scattered around and my mom would pick them up over and over. It had to have been so aggravating.

But I know she would give anything to pick those socks up again...

*He was cheesy and sappy.

He wrote my mom lovey dovey cards and poems.

Sometimes they were really good and sometimes they were so over the top they even made my mom want to gag. He could tear up at movies and he loved romantic comedies.

*He was a nite owl who could sleep the morning away.

Me too!

*He could be a horrible dresser.

Black socks, shorts and slippers was not an uncommon combination.

Again, as a teen I hated this! How could my dad be so out of it?!?

Now I truly miss it.

That's just the start of my list and I'm sure my brothers could add much more.

And while its not an excuse for us to annoy those we love...it is a good reminder to be a little easier on each other. To criticize a little less and love a little harder.

Because someday the thing you find the most frustrating about

someone could be the thing you miss the very most.

Love you dad...Christmas isn't the same without your laugh.

What could be cuter...

than this little cutie in her new christmas jammies???

nothing!

Tomorrow is clean up the toys and put them all away day...

I might even get to the tree.

I don't really want to but toys are in danger of getting lost or broken at this point and we are hosting New Year's Eve at our house so it has to be done.

So I guess I'm being forced to stop relaxing! :)

Extended Family

Last night we had Christmas with the extended side of Jordan's dad's family.

It includes lots and lots of food and lots of lots of great-grandchildren for Grandma Hildegarde!

(there are a few missing!)

He loves holding babies!

I love me some two year olds!

Cousin Adrian - getting SO big!

Cousin Jackson - spinning and spinning...with those big beautiful brown eyes!!

Dont blink...this group will be teenagers in just a few years...

Christmas with my side

There was lots of fun time for playing with cousins...

Some gingerbread decorating (thank you Amy!!)

And playing with Grandma's extensive Christmas village.

And plenty of time for craziness.

Looks like the dispute over who is mom's favorite will continue for a few more years...