The House

This past weekend we finished up the bulk of the work at mom's house.

It was a lot of work. a lot.

And most of it was not fun. We scrubbed, vacuumed, hammered, painted, polished, carried, lifted, scrapped...

All the while I reminded myself...This is in honor of my mom and dad.

This is my reasonable service. This is my joy.

This is how I give back in a small way for the life that they gave to me. For the childhood I loved and the memories that cannot be taken away.

This is how I say thank you.

Sunday as Nick and I were polishing literally the last boards in the house, as we got closer to the door, I was in tears. I think my tears were polishing the floor with the oil.

I did not want it to end. Its been over a month of time spent there not doing fun things, not spending time with my kids, ect. Its been emotional and dirty.

But closing and locking that door that day, and knowing that the next time I would go in would likely be to put it up for sale, really stung.

As Nick, Stacie, Jordan and I stood in the front and stared up at the beautiful, huge home...the sun came out. After a day of clouds and gloom..the sun chose to shine.

And I took that to mean that mom and dad were pleased. They saw that something that they had held so dear and precious...was also held dear and precious to us. We wanted to leave it perfect. We wanted to honor them in how we left it.

Driving away that day made it more clear than ever that a piece of my heart will live in that house forever. I could have stared at those beautiful parquet floors in the dining and living room for hours.

I wonder how many games of Pepper were played in that dining room? Or how many huge family meals filled with debate, sarcasm and laughter we consumed there. 

Or how many old movies were shared in the living room, how many fires we all enjoyed in that huge fireplace?

We'll never know. But we'll never forget how they built our family.

So the next chapter begins as I listed the house today. I hope it sells quickly, to a wonderful young family who will cherish it and make as many of their own memories.

And just like everything in my life these days...I am in a huge turmoil...because I also hope that it never sells and that I'll be able to walk through those rooms and smell my family and hear those voices for the rest of time.