Hope comes in the morning

I'm sure my last post could have left people thinking, 'well that was sure uplifting, thanks!'

But, I'll tell you its true. 

I'll never be the same girl I was on June 1, 2006, the day before my dad died. 

And I'll never be the same girl I was on April 3, 2013, the day before my mom died. 

That girl is gone. 

This new girl...

She is so very different. In hard ways. 

I ache now, I mourn, happy things can make me cry, I have physical pain from what I've lost, I spend time being so very angry, I have trouble pulling it together somedays. 

But. That. Is. Okay.

Because this new girl, she has HOPE. 

Hope that even though my healing will not come this side of heaven, it will come. 

I Corinthians 2:9

'But, as it is written, What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, 

nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.'

I Peter 5:6-7

'Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 

Hope that there will come a day when my tears will be wiped away forever and 

my faith will be my eyes. 

Revelation 21:4

'He will wipe every tear from their eyes. 

There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, 

for the old order of things has passed away.'

And I am held. 

Held so tightly even when I ache, even when I'm angry, even when I don't know 

how I'll put one foot in front of the other. 

I take fewer things for granted now. 

I treasure every day moments and I tell my family I love them more readily. 

I do not miss that old girl. 

She seems rather silly to me now. 

I don't want to go back and be her. 

Things I've known for years in my head are real in my heart now. 

Yes, this new girl has hope. 

This new girl clings to hope in her Savior in a way that she did not know before.