Still pregnant????

I realized today that in many ways I still feel pregnant. Here's what I mean:

1. When I am pregnant I become very lazy. I care WAY less about my apperance than I do when I am not pregnant. I often get out of the house and then look down at myself and think, 'What was I thinking?' But I dont care enough to go change. I am still doing this.

2. I am also very lazy with housework when I'm pregnant. Normally, in my non-pregnant mode, I am always caught up on laundry and the toys are always organized at the end of every day. Those two things are my 'things'. I hate having them out of order or over flowing. But currently, its like I'm 8 months pregnant. Toys spread through out the house do not bother me and I can pretty much guarantee there are no less than 5 loads of laundry waiting to be done in the basement right now.

3. Just tired. I normally am a night owl. After the kids go to bed I get a burst of energy and I get a ton done and then I'm ready to sit down for some time with Jordan. But right now, all I want to do is go to bed at 9 pm. And I dont wake up refreshed.

4. Fat. Yes, I am still carrying around 10-15 pounds of baby weight. (you can say what you want but the truth is that the scale doesnt lie. and neither do my pants that do not fit.) I HATE IT. But I dont seem to have the will power to do anything about it. I have no energy. I have never had this problem before. In the 3 previous pregnancies it went away all on its own.

This brings me to my big fear. Maybe I'm not feeling pregnant. Maybe what I'm feeling is like a person in their 30's. A person whose metabolism is slowing down. Maybe I should have stopped having kids in my 20's so I could get myself all straightened out by the time 30 hit. Seriously, if this is how 30 feels, what is 50 like? I don't think I want to find out.