Christmas memories

We had a completely JAM PACKED Thanksgiving weekend. When I think about everything that we did I can hardly believe it was really just four days. No wonder I'm tired tonight. (Pictures will have to wait.)
We capped the weekend off by decorating the Christmas tree tonight. When we finished I looked at it and realized it leaves a little to be desired. But I also realized something else. Someday 20 years in the future, I will have a beautiful tree. It will be perfectly coordinated and all the ornaments will be breakable and not to be touched.

But for now, we have a child-friendly, child-decorated, child-loved tree. And I LOVE it. I love every ornament and every memory that comes to mind while we decorate. I love it that Lauren and Avery yell out, "I remember this one" over and over. I love the memories we are creating with them.

There are two things that always happen to me when we decorate for Christmas.
1. I always want to wrap each of my kids up and just hold on tight. I want to keep them exactly the ages they are and just stop time. There is something so very special about kids at Christmas.
2. The other thing is that I miss my dad, like crazy. After the lights are out except for the tree and we are all just sitting and admiring our work, my tears start to fall. I'd give just about anything to be transported back 20 years and be sitting in my parents' living room listening to my dad complain about the lights and my mom telling him to calm down and have fun. He didn't really like decorating for Christmas but he loved buying us each our ornament for the year and I remember how excited he would get to present us with them each year.
I miss him. Its probably the childlike feeling we all get at Christmas that brings it out in me. I want to go back to a time when I didn't have a care in the world. I miss my daddy. Even though I'm over 30...I miss my daddy. I want to sit in his lap and see his smile and feel his scratchy beard. I'd like just one more Christmas that way.

And I guess that's what makes Christmas now so special. Knowing that someday my kids will look back and wish for one more Christmas just like this one...

Here's to a wonderful, memorable holiday season...