Memorial Day Weekend

Our weekend is busy...a little bit of fun and a whole lot more work at mom's. 

But I dont want to forget what this long weekend stands for...

I read this today and goosebumps rose to my skin and tears came to my eyes. 

Thank you just doesn't seem like enough. 

The Five Sullivan Brothers

A knock at the door early one January morning in 1943 brought Thomas Sullivan

face-to-face with three men in naval dress uniforms.

"Which one?" Thomas asked. 

"I'm sorry," replied one of them.

"All five."

Spring Soccer

Hard to believe Spring Soccer is over for the year. 

It was a blur...we've been a little distracted the past 6 weeks or so. 

I dont think I took my real camera to a single game. 

Im not sure I even saw a full game of Lauren's. 

Ugh. 

But I cant let these pictures taken by one of Sullivan's coaches go unposted. 

He had great coaches. He loved his 'cowboy coach'. 

Dave was so good with the boys. 

SO encouraging, SO fun. 

So laid back. 

This was halftime. 

They surprised the boys with a medal ceremony after their last game...

a reward for lots of hard work. 

It was so special...and I was crying. 

The boys thought they were pretty cool with their hardware! 

my lucky # is 6.

As a young girl I wasted many hours begging and pleading for a sister. I am ashamed to admit I recall crying myself to sleep on occasion because of this 'unanswered prayer'. 

In fact, when my youngest brother was born and I found out he was a boy...I locked myself in the bathroom and would not come out. 

I vividly remember my anger and despair! :)

As an adult I am so thankful that I was blessed with of the most amazing and strong and supportive brothers. Boys. 6 boys. No one has ever prayed for that one! :)

I needed brothers. I didnt know that.
I would have been bad at a sister relationship.
I know that now. 

I am who I am today because of each one of my brothers.

6 of my most favorite people in the entire world. 

I love how our family dynamic works. Even when its dysfunctional. 

I love having brothers. 

And today, I am honestly happy that I get to be the only sister to those 6. 

I could not have made it through this week without them. 

Tonight I am just so very thankful for family. 

I am one blessed girl...we have lost much...but have so much to hold on to. 

My parents would be so proud of us this week. 

I wish I could see the approval and happiness in their faces. 

So 6 is my lucky #.

That makes me smile. 

(Side note...the fact that they have given me amazing sister-in-laws doesn't hurt one bit!)

fortune

My fortune cookie saying tonight...

'A part of us remains wherever we have been.'

timely.

a legacy

This week is the week we've all been dreading/looking forward to 

since we got the call that our mom was gone. 

That doesnt make sense does it? 

Try getting in my head...it will make less sense trust me.

You know there is nothing I love more than being surrounded by my brothers and their wives. 

But being surrounded by them in our parents home...as we sort, divide, toss and riffle through almost 50 years of 'life'...is not how I'd choose to spend my time with them. 

But it had to be done. 

Today was the first full day. 

So very hard. 

We made excellent progress. 

We had gorgeous weather..the house was open...and there was an awesome breeze. 

My prayer was that as we cleaned and sorted we would do it in honor of our parents. 

That we would treat their belongings with respect and yet, not be insane enough to think we could keep all of it. 

We've done that. 

We are each getting our special pieces. 

Each finding our treasures.

We've each found things that brought us to tears...some sobbing tears. 

We've found more things that made us gasp and laugh and hug and laugh more. 

This process is indescribable.

Searching through your legacy. 

What your parents have left for you. 

Reading through your childhood through journals and pictures. 

Searching through antique trunks of ancient pictures of relatives and days gone by.

Remembering - the good ole' days.

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the 'good ole' days' before you've actually left them"

-Andy Bernard - The Office. 

One thing is for sure...our parents left us the most wonderful, messy, perfect, lasting, treasured legacy to be known. They left us with memories, and countless stories. My parents ALWAYS talked about our ancestors and I felt I know them...even though I never met them. 

I see their pictures and I see myself...or my children. 

I know endless details of both of their childhoods that I would imagine most dont have the honor of knowing. 

My parents knew how to give a gift of memories. 

They left a legacy...through their words and their stories. 

I wouldn't trade that for an inheritance of millions of dollars. 

Not for one second.

So this week is hard...and likely the most emotional of my life. 

And yet, I dont want it to end. 

I want to hold on. 

Keep my tight grip. 

Keep the memories. 

Keep that house...the love.
Keep all the STUFF. 

Of course, we cannot.
And the house and the stuff are just that...stuff.
Hard to leave, hard to let go of...yet, still just stuff.

But try and take that legacy...you cannot. 

Legacies are forever and cannot be stolen. 

Not even by time. 

TETELESTI

I mentioned at the funeral that my mom was a 'Jack of All Trades'. 

I wasn't lying...but I left out one of her talents...

she wrote a song. 

Well she wrote the words and the melody and then I believe she worked with a friend compose it. 

My sister-in-law sang it at the funeral. 

Its beautiful. 

The week after the funeral I received this beautiful piece in the mail. 

No enclosure card...I do not know who it is from. 

I wish so that I could say thank you. 

It will be treasured I can assure you. 

Tetelesti - It Is finished. 

The words Jesus uttered on the cross when He had died for me. 

Beautiful. Simple. Live Changing. 

The music and words to mom's song are below 

and I think she was the coolest person, ever.

'Te-teles-te'

Te-teles-te, said my Master

As He hung upon Calvary's tree

Te-teles-te, said my Savior

When He took my sin, set me free

It is finished, it is done, it is completed. 

His blood was shed there for you and for me. 

Praise God, it is perfect atonement.

Trust in Jesus, nothing more do you need. 

Te-teles-te He showed His love there.

Freely given, grace did freely flow.

Te-teles-te He will take your sin and wash you much whiter than snow.

It is finished, it is done, it is completed. 

His blood was shed there for you and for me. 

Praise God, it is perfect atonement. 

Trust in Jesus, nothing more do you need. 

Oh wont you please take my Jesus?

Open up your heart to His call. 

Make Him your Lord and your Savior.

Te-teles-te, Christ paid it all. 

It is finished, it is done, it is completed. 

His blood was shed there for you and for me. 

Praise God, it is perfect atonement. 

Trust in Jesus, nothing more do you need. 

 

one tough lesson to learn...

Listen here...

Even If...

Kutless

Sometimes all we have to hold on to
Is what we know is true of who You are
So when the heartache hits like a hurricane
That could never change who You are
And we trust in who You are

Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn’t come

Lord we know Your ways are not our ways
So we set our faith in who You are
Even though You reign high above us
You tenderly love us
We know Your heart
And we rest in who You are

Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn’t come

You’re still the Great and Mighty One
We trust You always
You’re working all things for our good
We’ll sing your praise 

Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn’t come

You are God and we will bless You
As the Good and Faithful One
You are God and we will bless You
Even if the healing doesn’t come
Even if the healing doesn’t come

good for my heart

My favorite part of homeschooling...

so good for my weary heart right now. 

This pretty much sums up the week...

My Mantra

This is my mantra...the verse, the words, the song that is getting me though.

It reminds me that this world is not my home. 

An infinite amount of joy is waiting for me. 

I just have to have faith and wait.

I picture My Savior, my father and my mother sitting in heaven, PLEADING with me to trust that the timeline of my life that they can view is so beautiful...so perfect, that the picture they see is His picture.

Just asking me to trust that the view from above is perfect. Not an accident. 

While I run, I repeat the words to this song, 

While I sit with my children at school I repeat this verse. 

While I try to drift off to sleep at night I repeat this promise to myself over and over. 

Josh Wilson

Before the Morning

(I've bolded the words that I know were written just for me.)

Do you wonder why you have to,
Feel the things that hurt you,
If there's a God who loves you,
Where is He now?

Maybe, there are things you can't see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending
Some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
That you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
Can't compare to the joy that's coming

So hold on, you got to wait for the light
Press on, just fight the good fight
Because the pain you've been feeling, 
It's just the dark before the morning

My friend, you know how this all ends
And you know where you're going,
You just don't know how you get there
So just say a prayer.
And hold on, cause there's good who love God,
Life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
But you'll see the bigger picture

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
That you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
Can't compare to the joy that's coming

So hold on, you got to wait for the light
Press on, just fight the good fight
Because the pain you've been feeling, 
It's just the dark before the morning
Yeah, yeah,
Before the morning,
Yeah, yeah

Once you feel the way of glory,
All your pain will fade to memory
Once you feel the way of glory,
All your pain will fade to memory
Memory, memory, yeah

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
That you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
Can't compare to the joy that's coming

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
That you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
Can't compare to the joy that's coming

Com'n, you got to wait for the light
Press on, just fight the good fight
Because the pain you've been feeling,
It's just the hurt before the healing
The pain you've been feeling,
Just the dark before the morning
Before the morning, yeah, yeah
Before the morning

books/stories

Sullivan: 'Mom, what do you say, you know, when you want to say that your house is like, this many books high?'

Me - totally confused.

Sullivan: 'You know, come on mom...My house is 2 books high!?!?'

Me: 'OH!!! You mean, 2 STORIES high!?!?'

Sullivan: 'YES! Duh.'

I love him.