I'm a slow learner

We got our school shopping done this week and I took advantage of the $.25 markers and colors and restocked our supply at home. 

Avery and Sullivan have been THRILLED with this. Especially Sullivan, he's having so much fun making creations. And he's getting so much better...making stick figures with actual faces on them and today he made a really good flower! He absolutely loves the markers. I've never really let him play with markers before. 

Well I was so excited today...Tess sat herself up to the art table all by herself and wanted to color. She had a piece of paper so I gave her one of our big baby sized crayons. She was so proud. 

And I was so excited that they were all entertained. I went back to the kitchen to finish the dishes. About 10 minutes later I hear Avery calling, "Mommy! Tess got the black crayon and its all over her face."

I knew right away. I knew it was no crayon she was playing with. And I realized after 4 kids I am still not very smart. I left my 1 year old at a table with markers. 

So this is what I found...

This was AFTER I cleaned her up. Pretty. 

Could have been much much worse...but I wonder how much she ingested! And I wonder how long she'll have that cute little beard. 

Washable markers huh? Washable? Really? 

Guess Who?!

Guess who took her first steps tonight?!?!?!?

Jordan set her down on the floor and she stayed standing on her own, first time. 

She got a huge smile on her face. 

Then she took three steps to me. 

Laughing excitedly and VERY proud of herself. 

She's been taking 2-3 steps all night now. 

Very exciting, very fun. 

Very scary! 

They arrived!!!

My brothers are here!!!

We haven't seen Brian in three years...its been way too long. 

Its going to be a very fun week! 

Love/Hate

So this is our house. 
 

(pre-paint job)
 
We moved in 7 years ago. 

When we pulled up to see it the first time I said, 'Its cute, how have I never seen this house before when I lived around the corner for 5 years growing up?'
 
When we steped inside I knew it was our house. I felt it. 
 
Its not perfect, not by a long shot. 

It is old. 
 
Built in 1900. 
 
But if you know us, you know we care more about character and history than perfection. And this house is the epitomie of character! 

It has a parqued floor in one area that is truly beautiful and someday it might not be covered in toys! It is actually 2 homes put together....so there are 2 stairways to the basement, and 2 to the second story. Its the perfect hide and seek house. The ceilings upstairs are all slanted and at odd angles. 
 
It is also full of imperfections...as any 109 year old house is...the basement is OLD, OLD, OLD. One of my younger brother's had a girl friend who wouldnt even go down in it. The windows are drafty, our bedroom has no heat or central air. The list goes on. The front porch is sagging (The next project). 
 
But I love the history of it. I love that some of Jordan's relatives lived here long ago. I love that his grandpa on his dad's side delivered coal to the house for the furnace.
 
I love it that its been here so long there used to be a barn just outside the back door. 

Here's a picture of it from approximately 1915. 

(our scanner isnt working so I actually took a picture of the picture...)

I also love that I've brought 3 babies home to this house and that its the only home any of my kids remember. 

But yes, its a love/hate relationship we've got. Somedays we'd love to sell it and walk away. But somedays, I swear, I will never move. 

And now with the new paint job...the scale has tipped a little bit more to the Love side of the love/hate relationship! 

The lighting isnt the best here, but its a tan, with dark brown trim.  

The original porch...the next project...and what do you think? Should all that trim stay white? 

Here you can see the color a little better. I just love that window. 

This weekend there was a family reunion of the family who owned the house for a very long time. They asked for tours. Jordan gave three. It was a lot of fun to hear what the house used to look like and the memories that they had from visiting 'Aunt Margaret'.  More history!

Weekend pictures

Part of our weekend included a family get together for Jordan's dad's family. 

This picture is of most of the grandkids, grandkid in-laws and great grand kids. 

Tess takes full of advantage of the one person in the family she is bigger than...Adele.

Someday soon I'm sure Adele will fight back. 

Stop taking pictures and save me already! 

In my kitchen

So this morning Tess was in her high chair yelling, "Dada, Dada!"

Sully went to her and said, "Contessa Caroline, Dada is at work, cause he's bringing home the bacon for you."

Love it. Love it. Love it.

He Washed My Eyes With Tears

I received a huge blessing tonight when I opened my email. 

Our world's most amazing babysitter and friend 'Zanna' sent me the words to a song that she knew I needed to hear. 

She heard it on the radio in conjunction with a woman giving her testimony of the pain she went through when her husband died. The woman learned that tears are sometimes a gift from God. 

It is hard to accept that my dad's death was a gift...I do know that it was God's plan and that He is using it for His purpose. And I know that all His plans are perfect and meant for my good. So, in that way, yes, tragedy can be a gift. 

Thank you so much Rosanna. 

He Washed My Eyes With Tears 
Ira Stamphill

He washed my eyes with tears that I might see,
The broken heart I had was good for me,
He tore it all apart and looked inside,
He found it full of fear and foolish pride.

He swept away the things that made me blind,
And then I saw the clouds were silver lined,
And now I understand 'twas best for me,
He washed my eyes with tears that I might see.

He washed my eyes with tears that I might see,
The glory of himself revealed to me,
I did not know that He had wounded hands,
I saw the blood He spilt upon the sands.

I saw the marks of shame and wept and cried,
He was my substitute for me He died,
And now I'm glad He came so tenderly,

And washed my eyes with tears that I might see. 

My favorite

Big Girls

I didn't have much chance for pictures of Lauren and her friend Margaret...they were too busy.

So apparently its Foto Friday

We arrived at the pool at 1:15. At 2:20 he walked away from these 'fire hoses' for the first time. I am not exaggerating. At all.  He kind of likes them. 

And really, nice 'gogs' kid!

Avery did this, the entire time. And later informed me that her tummy hurt and she had drank a lot of the pool water each time she did it. I'm keeping an eye on her! 

Got it!

tess

Tess was all about the climbing...

She also could have stood on this merry-go-round the whole time if she could. Practicing and practicing the walking!

Oh I love her. 

sully

Sully was very excited to watch the 'digger'. 

Friday Park Date

I love Friday Park Dates. And maybe someday my kids will be old enough that I'll actually get to sit and talk with the mom's. 

There were 11 kids of 5 moms, and then 2 cousins and 1 friend along for the morning. (The picture is missing Jalen who wasn't in the mood, and Sully is turned away and Clayton is hidden by Paige's head who is also turned away. But there were 14 of them, they did ok!)

And now we are off the pool! 

duh

I forgot the thing I'm most thankful for right now. 

Three kids in this house can go to the bathroom without any supervision from their mother. 

Its heavenly. Heavenly I tell you.

What am I going to be like when they are all doing that?!?! 

Thankful Thursday

I decided to revive Thankful Thursday. 

1. We are having our house painted and the workers arrived this morning...they are almost done! Pictures to come.

2. It is finally warm out. We went to the pool for an hour before naps today. Lauren, Avery and Sullivan are all MUCH braver than they were before lessons. Especially the girls. Lauren will now do all the slides, go under and is getting the hang of swimming to the side. Avery loves to go under and search for toys and do the front float. Sully is constantly seeing if he can put his face under and keeping it under longer and longer. 

3. My husband called me at 3 and said, "Get a babysitter, I'm taking you out for supper tonight." Pretty excited and thankful for that!!!

The Wallet

I talk a lot about my dad on here. And I dont know what it is but lately I feel like I could post about him or about loss in general, every week. Maybe its the time of year, the time of year that we lost him, the time of year that we celebrate his birthday, the time of year when we all get together and have picnics and BBQ's and fun. Maybe its that my brothers are all coming home and Im so excited to see them but I hate getting together without my dad there too. 
 
Sometimes I think I'm doing so well, being so 'strong'. And then its like the wounds are fresh. Like when you have a cut and it has healed up and the scab or maybe a scar remain. Then for some reason you do something, something happens and the scab tears off or the scar gets reopened. And there it is, the wound is fresh, and deep and maybe even more painful than it was when it was new. 
 
Not that things aren't a little better, they are. I can sit and think about my dad now and smile. I can laugh at his old jokes and sayings. But I cant picture his smile and not cry. I cant remember the way he'd look at his kids with sheer joy and not feel jipped. I cant look at Sullivan and not feel angry that he never got to ride in Papa Richard's truck and 'fix' things with him. I cant kiss Contessa's cheek and not realize that my dad never even got to touch that soft soft cheek. I know I am lucky. He walked me down the aisle, he held my my 3 older children, he saw me do so much, I got to share so much of my life with him...but I still feel angry, ripped off. Resentful that my extended family has a gaping hole in it. And while I know my God is in control, I also know that some of this I am not meant to understand until we are all together in Heaven, so the waiting is hard. 
 
And I try not to write about it too much. Writing is my outlet and it makes things feel more real, and some of the things, I dont want to feel any more 'real'. 
 
Then the other day I started thinking, you know if I dont write about this, if I dont force myself to remember, to relive it, to reopen those wounds and FEEL, then I'm not being true to myself and I'm not allowing myself to really remember him. I'm not allowing God to do the work in my that He is trying to do. And I'm keeping a side of my dad from my children and a side of loss from them even a side of myself. I want them to know that its ok to hurt. That 3 years after losing someone you love, its still ok to stand in a department store and cry like it was yesterday...and so that leads to the story of the wallet. And in telling it I know it will hurt, the scab is ripping off, but I also know that someday in the future it might help my children to feel 'normal' as they grieve some tragedy. I also know that in telling it, I'll be reminded of my dad's smile, the smile he used to show when we'd give him gifts...he loved to give and receive gifts. And I know that in the hurt, my God is there. 
 
The Wallet:
This past weekend we were in Dillards and I was waiting for Jordan and Sully to come out of the restroom and the girls were playing near me in the clothes racks (Dillards employees love us). I was browsing through some ties and things and came to wallets. I try very hard to avoid the wallet section in the men's department. But I came face to face with it and I was in tears. Standing in Dillards, crying ... Lauren and Avery started asking, what's the matter mommy!? I hugged them and said I was just having a moment and then, luckily for me, God sent Sully running out of the bathroom to announce that he'd gone potty like a big boy, AGAIN! I scooped him up and hugged him tight and left the wallets behind. 

But the reason for the tears stayed with me....here's the reason for the tears: 
 
So in 2006 I must have been ahead of the game. I bought Father's Day presents for Jordan, his dad and my dad in May. Wow, way ahead of the game! 

I bought my dad a wallet. We'd all been making fun of his, it was falling apart and looked terrible and things would fall out of it. Not really serving its purpose anymore. 

So I picked through the wallets at Younkers and found the perfect one. Not a real exciting gift but I knew he'd like it and I knew he'd be happy when we stopped making fun of the one he was using. 

Then at the beginning of June, my dad died. A few weeks later I came across the wallet and my heart sank as I realized I'd have to return it. I considered keeping it and having Jordan use it but I knew I really never wanted to see the thing again so I vowed to return it. 

Later that summer I went to accomplish that task. Normally when you return things they just say, here's your money back. But this particular clerk was intent on doing a great job as a sales woman that day and she said, "Well, what's wrong with it? Do you want a different color? We have lots of different styles? Why dont you just exchange it?" on and on her questions went. 

All the while my heart is beating faster and faster and the tears are getting closer and closer to spilling out. 
Finally they did and I sternly informed the clerk that it was for my father for Father's Day and he had died 2 weeks before the day so I couldn't exactly give it to him. She starred at me stunned, apologized and remained red in the face until I walked away, shaking, crying and very sorry for having snapped at her but wanting more than anything to change the past and have that wallet in my dad's pocket rather than on that check out counter. 
 
So Lauren and Avery, that was why I was standing in Dillards this weekend crying. And I want you to know that sometimes hurts dont go away in a short time, sometimes they never go away. But God is there, He's standing beside us, He might not be calming the storm, but He is there to calm us, to hold us close and He has promised, that someday, someday he'll wipe the tears away but until then, its ok, to be sad. 

Revelation 21:3-4 "And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."  

POOP PARTY

I've discovered that there is little I wont do for a

3.5 year old who is potty training.

Sullivan wanted a poop party after day 2 of no accidents,

and I obliged.

We even sang, "Happy Poop Party to You."

(I cannot believe I didn't video tape that!)

And don't worry, those are tootsie rolls.

County Fair

My mom and I took the kids to the County Fair tonight...

Tess LOVED it. 

She is our animal lover. 

You should hear her squeal and watch her kick her feet when she gets anywhere near an animal!

I almost took these two little beauties home with me. 

Come on, look at those eyes! 

And this one, well he was just so cool looking! 

The dream-weaver

Uncle Robert gave Avery a 'dream-weaver' for her birthday.

She had us hang it above her head over her bed and she said that she was going to look at it to help her from having bad dreams. (cute)

Well yesterday Avery came into the kitchen with her hands on her hips in true Avery-style and said,
"Well, I guess that dream-weaver is just a decoration. Because since I got it I've had TWO bad dreams!"

Then she stomped off.

I had to go back and get her and have her repeat it to me because I wasn't sure I'd really heard her correctly.

She is so hilarious to me.

Productive

As this weekend wraps up I am feeling so fulfilled! 

Just one of those weekends where we actually accomplished some things on the to do list like cleaning out the garage and for me, going through all my clothes and coming up with FOUR bags for Goodwill. 

We also had some good family time and some fun with some friends and the kids. 

Of course the best part of the weekend was that Sullivan is basically potty-trained! He went all day today with no accidents, I rarely had to remind him to go AND he went much less frequently than the 2 previous days. 

The true test will come tomorrow when he's at daycare but I am feeling confident. 

And I'm telling you, if he can do it, any kid can do it! ;)

Now I'm off to snuggle with the handsome man waiting for me on my couch. 

Good night!  

The best of the bunch

Attempts

We are having the most beautiful day of the summer. Its like mid-70's and sunny, with a light breeze. Perfect. 

Of course I wanted some pictures...here's Contessa and Sullivan's take on it...

Sully - Im going to try screaming in the baby's face, surely that will make her look at the camera and smile.

Sully: Or we could try squeezing her head really hard, I hear that works. 

 

Sully: Or I could just make a silly face and do everything to look unphotogenic on my own!

Contessa: Seriously Lauren, save me from this kid! 

Tess: I truly cannot believe we are related...

Mother's of Boys

Really, I'm asking.

Do they really go this much? 

We went up town to some of the shops. Me and the kids. 

We were gone maybe 1 hour. At most.

He went 5 times and then was RUNNING into the house when we got home to go again. 

10 minutes later he went again. 

The poor kid (and his mom) are going to be exhausted if this keeps up. 

Do they really go this frequently? Will this calm down once he's all the way trained? 

Really, I'm asking. Grace, Jody, Cassie, Trina, Meghan, Courtney...I need to know!

Boys

In comparison to girls...little boys must just pee a lot!!!

Thursday I started serious potty training with Sully. We tried when he turned 3 in February and it was a complete flop. complete flop. 

He's been showing more signs over the past month and I always make him go after diaper changes and before and after bed etc. 

And he starts preschool in the fall and he's almost 3 and 1/2 now AND I cannot change 2 kids diapers any longer. 

So, we're doing it. We've vowed to never put a diaper back on him unless its nap time or bed time. 

AND...

He's doing GREAT!!!

He has a different mindset this time. He is excited about it and doesn't want to wear diapers. Its true, its pointless to try until THEY are ready. 

Yesterday he was dry all day until 7 pm. But we had Kirkpatrick's over and they were playing hide and seek outside and eating ice cream. A few too many distractions. 

This morning when I went in to get him up he said, "I'm holding it! I need to go!" He RAN into the bathroom and went forever. And his diaper was DRY!

We are definitely making serious, serious progress. I think we'll actually be ok never putting him in a diaper again...as long as I've got an extra change of clothes with us for awhile! 

But back to my original topic, really, are all little boys like this? I swear he goes like every 10 minutes?!

Weird. 

Weird

It's Iowa.

In mid-July.

Today's high is 67.

Tomorrow's is 69.

WHAT?!?!?!

Tess's college visit.

Like her older sister before her, Tess has made the wise choice to become a Hawkeye when she goes to college. So after her appt. today I took her on a college visit. 

We love that Hawkeye!

Doing a little reading up on the school...

She's so advanced and so in love - she can already write! 

Ha, ha, Daddy!!! We love playing jokes on you! 

Just cant wait to get in for my first game! 

Beautiful little Hawkeye girl...