Refocus and big steps...

There seems to be something that God is constantly trying to teach me something in my life. The most recent area of my life he is trying to ‘perfect’ is to trust Him, even when it isn’t easy. Even when I cant know the outcome of
something, or the reasons why something is happening.

Two weeks ago we started Sullivan in the specialized therapy sessions. At the first session I knew from the minute my eyes met the therapist as she watched Sully that she was going to say what I had feared. She recommended we take Sully to a Pediatric Neurologist at the U of I and have him tested for Cerebral Palsy. Even though we kind of thought this might come up – we were devastated.

As anyone with kids can imagine, the worst things go through your mind, questioning everything and fearing even more. We had a rough few days. I was reading everything I could about it on the internet and talking to anyone who knew anything about it.

Tuesday night I went where I should have been all along. I opened up my bible and started looking for verses to give me assurance and encouragement on His perfect plan and his promises to me.

I woke up on Wednesday feeling a lot better. For one, no matter what, a diagnosis does not change who Sullivan is. He is still my son and I love him with all my heart. Two, he is so happy, loving and fun! And most importantly, as Hebrews 12:2 says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Bottom line, God is the author of Sullivan’s life story and I know it will be a great one. Even if it is different than the one I had dreamt up. I know God’s stories are a lot better than mine.

Some of the verses He lead me to include:
Deut. 32:4 He is the Rock, His works are perfect, and all His ways are just.
Ps. 18:30 As for God, His way is perfect, the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him. 32 It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way perfect.
Ps. 27:5 For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in His dwelling, He will hide me in the shelter of His tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.
II Cor. 12:9 …My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness…
Heb. 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Heb. 11:30 By faith the walls of Jericho fell…

I’m so thankful for God’s will for us to worship Him even when we struggle. It makes my struggles much easier to deal with.

Having said all that, God then went and answered some huge prayers for us today.

We had Sully’s second therapy session. Our therapist, Jamie, put Sully in a “gait trainer”. He WALKED! He just pushed away and walked. He could sit if he wanted, but he didn’t want to.
Jamie went on to say that she saw huge improvements in Sully from two weeks ago to this week. She even said that her concerns were greatly eased and that if she had seen ‘this Sully’ 2 weeks ago, she probably would not have recommended we take him for testing in IC!!!

We are still going to the testing for him on the 12th. We feel that there is no real reason not to go and it will be good to know exactly what is going on with Sullivan – one way or the other.

Please pray for Sullivan’s legs, that they will continue to gain strength. And pray for us as we continue to pray for God’s guidance in this.
It is hard to wait and wonder, but knowing God’s hands are wrapped around Sully brings a lot of peace.