Differences

I’ve been thinking a lot about my dad and the kind of dad that he was lately. Jordan always said that my dad’s greatest gift was to make you feel that when you were talking to him, you were the most important person in the world. Only what you said mattered. He made you feel like whatever conversation you were having with him – was truly the most interesting thing he had ever had a conversation about! Oh, I miss that so much right now and I wish I had realized before that he did this!

Before you have kids, you don’t realize that each one is different right from conception. All three of my kids were very unique and I knew it from the first time I felt them move. These differences make life fun and difficult at times. Now my parents had 7 VERY different kids to get to know and raise. My dad used the gift I mentioned before to instill in each of us the confidence that we all share – perhaps our one common strength?

For example, when my brother Nick was in early high school he was a skate or die dude. He lived it; clothes, hair, speech. Everything. My dad, a very conservative man, could have tuned this out, or forbade it. But he didn’t, he embraced it. He bought Nick new skateboards. Surprised him with tickets to Professional Skater shows, and took pictures of us all at these shows. I think there was even a brief discussion about building a half-pipe in our backyard. He made skateboarding the coolest thing. And deep down, he probably thought it was dangerous, dirty and obnoxious. (or is that just me?)

My brother Joe showed an interest in politics and in his Faith very early. He embraced these things and these happened to be things that my dad also was very passionate about. He loved to watch Joe ‘follow his lead’ and then grow on his own. But, he never made Joe out to be any more important to him than say Robert, who is getting his PHD in philosophy which my dad did not necessarily have a good grasp of or understand. But he loved to sit and discuss this with Robert. To learn from Robert and to debate with Robert.

My dad saw the differences in his children as their greatest strengths and the reasons he loved us the most!

I have been thinking about all of that a lot and hoping to strive to do the same with my children. To use Lauren, Avery and Sullivan’s differences to give them confidence and courage to go out on their own. I want their differences to be what I cherish most, not what made the day the most difficult!

With that in mind, here are some of my current most favorite things about each of them:

Lauren: How she looks at me out of the corner of her eye during dance class to make sure I am watching her, then afterwards she asks, “Mommy, did you watch me dancing? Did you see me? Did you watch the whole time?” How she can eat green peppers like they are going out of style! The way she says that things are ‘nasty’ just the way I do! And even, how she is the SLOWEST person getting ready in the morning – just like her daddy!

Avery: How lately she gets so excited to tell us things that she talks so fast she cant even get words out and she moves her hands and arms around so fast because her little body cannot contain the excitement she is feeling. When she calls Sully, 'buddy' and says, I wuv you Auren.” When we tell her she is silly and she adamantly objects, “No I’m NOT, I’m me!” Yes, Avery, you are, you most definitely are!

Sullivan: How he loves for me to hug him and hold him - I know it won’t last so I am enjoying it now. When he throws his bottle and everything else, out of his crib as a signal that he wants OUT! How his idea of a good time is to take everything off the train table and fling it as far as it will go. How he also likes to do that with pot holders, Tupperware, refrigerator magnets, balls, barbies, and anything he can reach! His voice - it is so deep and scratchy - he even sounds like a boy. When he yells out MOM when Jordan asks him to say Daddy. That he is just a little bit of a mommy’s boy!

I am so very blessed. I do not for one moment deserve these precious gifts...I always knew I’d love them with all my heart. I just never knew that I would love them even more than that!