Growing up

I've been struggling lately with how fast Lauren and Avery seem to be growing up. They are both showing more interest in having friends over and with having 'their own little lives'. They have real conversations with each other that we aren't supposed to hear. They whisper to each other and giggle behind our backs. They go into their room and shut the door. They have inside jokes with each other.

And as much as I LOVE seeing their relationship grow and love seeing them be close, and as excited as I am to see what plans Christ has in store for them, I don't like them growing up.

I hate it.

Not that I don't want them to become who they are going to be, I know that will be fun too...but I just don't want it to happen yet. A friend of mine is always telling me, 'when your kids get big, their problems get big too'. I like little problems better.

Tonight Jordan was sitting on the couch and Lauren crawled up beside him and nestled into the crook of his arm and put her head on his shoulder. I watched and thought to myself, look how easily she does that, how natural it is for her to snuggle up with her daddy. Then I realized that in just a few years she might not feel comfortable doing that...she might find it awkward or silly because she's 'too old'. I pray that she doesn't ever feel that way, but she might. The girl who was the world's BIGGEST Daddy's Girl, might actually feel funny being that close.

Anyway, I am just praying for life to slow down. For time to stand still for a bit so we can enjoy our girls at 4 and 7. I don't want them to be 11 and 14 the next time I turn around. And if the next 7 years go by as fast as the past 7 went...well then they will be that old the next time I turn around.

You know, I don't think anyone ever warned me that watching them grow up would literally feel like someone was ripping my heart out. Ok, maybe they did, but I sure didn't listen.

Because it really does.



Lauren age 3.5, Avery age 1. Summer 2005