Its Monday

And if I were at work today I would have missed Daddy's lunchtime

dancing with Sleeping Beauty.

soccer boy

Lauren and Avery start soccer soon.

Sully is a little jealous that he isn't old enough this year.

We did some practicing in the yard this weekend and we think some team is really missing out by not having him as a member!

He's got some good footwork!

And he was loving it.

Your day will come buddy!

holding tight

This weekend our little town was reminded in a big way that life can be fragile & short.

That those you love can be taken from you in the blink of an eye.

That strength, vitality and youth do not necessarily equal health and longevity.

I am also reminded by my husband that God doesn't get shocked, He doesn't do mistakes and He knows nothing of accidents. He knew what was in store eons ago. And He has been prepared. Waiting for the fall with arms wide open to catch those left behind.

But I've still been holding on a little tighter to those I love.

Squeezing them harder and not getting upset at the pieces of pizza falling in laps and the glasses of juice flying to the floor. Holding on tighter by making memories with silly string fights in the yard and giggling right along with them.

Introducing...

The next Hannah Montana!

(oh please never, ever, let that be true!)

This is her latest thing...

She brings the CD player to the dining room,

says, 'Annah, Hontana!'

Then someone puts on this Hannah Montana dress on her and

she rocks out on her stage, aka the bathroom footstool.

It is adorable.

And crazy and fun.

And I want her to be two for a very long time!

No inhibitions...love that in a two year old!

a little lift

I cant really tell you what this verse meant to me this morning...

but it was just what my heart needed to hear.

'Your love, oh Lord, reaches to the heavens.

Your faithfulness, to the skies.'

Psalm 36:5

I love how He tells me not to doubt for one second of this day that I am

loved with an immeasurable and limitless love.

my boy

Before I had a boy I'd hear people call their sons 'all boy' and I'd smile and think

I knew what they meant.

Then I had a boy.

Who is 'all boy'.

And now I get what they mean.

Sullivan is just hysterical lately.

We, his parents, happen to think he has the best personality.

He is constantly making us smile, shake our heads and pray!

Today he got to spend a few hours with my mom.

My mom is so good at letting this 'all boy' boy be just that.

Must be something to do with the fact that she raised 6 of her own who were just like him.

When I pick him up after being at her house he almost always requires a bath.

And I love that.

Today he played in dirt and water.

Mixed.

And he was worm hunting. His latest obsession.

And I mean obsession.

He talks about worms at least 65% of his day.

Today he found one very small worm.

And no worm will ever be loved like this one...named 'little Sully'.

Its so small you cant even find it in the container without him pointing it out.

But he is SO proud.

Some of his other recent cute things include:

During a recent suppertime prayer - 'Dear Jesus, I love you and I praise you. Thank you for eye balls that we have them but cant see them.'

huh?

On Sunday, right when the worm obsession started, we were headed out the door for church and Sully was outside before us. He came RUNNING back in yelling, 'It rained! It rained! I gotta get my worm bucket! The worms are out!'

Last week we were coaching Lauren about what to do if she were ever home and I was hurt and unconscious and she needed to call 911. Sullivan was off to the side listening and he adds in his two cents...'Just kiss her if she wont wake up! That will work!'

He might watch too many fairy tales with his sisters!

Also last week he suddenly started coming up to me telling me what 2 + 2, and lots of other combinations of #'s, equaled. He really shocked me when he said, 'Mommy, 3 + 3 + 3 = 9'.

What?

How does he know that?

I have NOT been working on this with him.

Honestly, a little scared by this skill!

His other obsession is with pretending to be a dog.

And I'll admit this one is not so cute to me.

In fact when he licks my ankles it is down right annoying!

But when Tess leads him around on a leash I cant help but laugh!

We love you buddy!

Thank you for showing us what 'all boy' really means!

And stay 4.

You are the best at 4, but seriously, stop licking my ankles!

Happy 64th Birthday, Dad!

Saying we miss you doesn't seem to encompass how we feel.

The gaping hole gets bigger with each passing year.

We still laugh and laugh when we are all together but now the laughters leaves

a bit of a hollow feeling when it is gone.

The hollow feeling is the spot that used to be filled by your bellowing laugh!

As more and more members of our family are added we will keep your memory alive, we will talk about you and laugh about you, we will tell our kids stories of their Papa. We will be sure that they understand all that they have missed by not having you as their Papa for as long as they should have had you.

We will hold each other up and remind each other that though we lost much,

we are blessed to have had so much to lose.

While at your gravesite today this is how your grandkids celebrated you.

Running around, giggling and climbing trees.

I think you'd like it that way.

We love you Dad.

Jeopardy!

At the beginning of the week Robert came up with a game of Earle Jeopardy that he wants us all to play tonight.

Each couple or group had to come up with 11 questions based on our family's recent and distant past - Family Trivia. Then we split into two teams and the fun began.

It was hysterical and totally memorable.

I can truly not think of a better way for us to spend our time together.

Tomorrow is my dad's birthday.

And many of the questions were about him and all the funny things he did and said.

It was perfect.

The game board.

Nick and Stacie strategizing before the game.

And Robert had special things to keep the kids entertained while we played.

Pop Rocks. At 10 pm. That's good right?

Joshua is ONE!

This super cute guy turned 1 this week and we celebrated with a party at the park tonight.

Tess took some time to stop and read him a story.

He wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do with this at first.

Then he got it figured out!

Really? what party is complete until Robert is on a roof?

Two peas in a pod.

I don't remember what was so funny but she is just the most fun right now!

4 out of 6 aint bad...

I've had the best distraction to get me over my 'back to school funk'.

My brother Robert came into town on Tuesday with his fiance Jen.

Then slowly three more of my brothers have trickled in throughout the week with their spouses, kids and/or dogs.

Few things can lift my spirits and make me smile and laugh like

having them around.

And wow, I'm short.

(left to right, Jordan (the baby of the family), Joe (3rd youngest),

me (4th youngest or right in the middle), Nick (3rd oldest),

Robert (2nd youngest))

the good parts, surprises and realizations

I am still struggling with the start of school. But I am focusing on the good parts now.

First, schedules. I love a good schedule. And organization.

And school supplies and homework and reading their school 'stuff'.

Love it.

Both girls are loving school. Avery is simply beaming.

And hearing her stories after school is like my favorite thing in the world right now.

And they are all so much nicer to each other after school! Yeah!

And I love Spartan Spirit Fridays!

Now I, of course, knew that I would miss them. I thought Sully would miss them. Turns out he is enjoying getting more of my attention. I dont think he misses them much, at least not yet.

But Tess oh my. She has surprised me. She is struggling. She misses them.

She tries to follow them out the door and then throws a fit when I wont let her go.

So the new plan there is that Tess must stay in bed until they are gone!

Today while playing dolls she attempted to pack up her baby and leave the house to go to 'school, mommy.' several times.

Uh. No. Just DAYS ago she promised that she would NEVER go to kindergarten.

What happened to this promise?

But the poor thing she walks from room to room calling their names.

I've realized that part of the reason for my struggle is that I've never sent kids off to the first day of school and then come back home to my house. I've always gone to work. But coming back home makes their absence more obvious. Their 'silence' more deafening. The loneliness for them harder to take.

But you know what's great? I get to be the first one to see them after school. I am the one they are literally running home to talk to about their days. The one to see their excited smiles and dancing eyes. The one who gets to hug and welcome them home.

Yes, this is better. This is much better.

Sisters

Knowing they would be there together helped a lot.

Lauren was so protective and helpful to Avery this morning.

And they have one recess and lunch together!

That just calms my heart to know they will have each other on the playground!

Hold on tight!

1st day of school 2010

Well, like it or not, morning came.

And I have a kindergartener and a 3rd grader.

I decided on Monday that it could be worse: They could be entering 10th, 7th, 6th, 4th and 2nd.

Someday I'll have to make my peace with that - and that will be worse.

But this was hard. And I think it had something to do with my staying home full time - somehow it was harder to let them walk out my door and into the school.

So excited!

Avery was a little timid which made it harder for me to leave.

But I did. And I didn't shed more than a few tears until I got back home.

And I wont go back.

Until 3:15 - I'll be there on the dot for that.

Avery and Lauren we were proud of you before you ever walked in those big doors.

Knock 'em dead girls!

And even though we cant be with you - Jesus is. Remember these words we read this morning: Psalm 25:4-5 'Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.'

He's the ultimate truth and He is with you ALL DAY LONG!

Pics with Daddy.

And yes, she is old. And practically ready to graduate.

And she seems to be ruling the school with her friends already - so confident.

It helped Avery having this special friend in her class.

And now I have to go because I was smart enough to schedule a hair cut and color for today to drown my sorrows. And then a park date with friends after that!

I'm so very smart.

He knows me so well...

Its getting close to midnight.

Jordan finally said, "So are you basically trying to stay up as late as you possibly can and eat massive quantities of food in order to pretend that tomorrow isn't coming?"

Yep.

He knows me so well...

I figure if I can stay up all night it will keep morning from coming then I wont have to send Avery to kindergarten.

And the eating part...well I cant really explain that part. But it makes me feel better.

But I'm 90% right!

What's the hardest part about marriage?

Bending?

Submitting?

Asking God, how do I glorify you when what I really want to do is slug my spouse?

I get emails from Family Life daily. And they tend to be on a cycle. I've gotten this one before but every time I read it I realize that it is such a good reminder that I need to hear now and then. So perhaps their cycle of emails is a good idea!

I dont like to be wrong. But even more - I dont like to be right and still have to be the one to bend and make the move towards forgiveness. I'm also reminded that Jesus Christ was 0% guilty. But He hung on the cross for a 100% guilty world. I owe Him so very much.

And God honors us when we do bend. And He expects us to do it! Even when we are 90% right!

Learning this has made such a difference:

Go from NO-WIN to WIN-WIN in your marriage - by Dennis Rainey

Let's get personal. Have you and your spouse ever had a conflict and didn't deal with it? I think I already know the answer to that question.

Early in our marriage, my wife Barbara and I started the habit of praying together before we fell asleep at night. But one night, it wasn't so easy. In fact, we lay in bed facing in opposite directions, a chasm between us.

In my conscience, that still, small voice whispered, "Are you going to pray with her tonight?"

"I don't like her tonight, Lord," I replied.

"I know you don't. But you're the one who tells people you pray with your wife all the time."

"Yes, Lord. But you know she's 90% wrong." "But," God reminded me, "your 10% started this whole thing."

Wow! Sound familiar at all? Isn't it amazing how easy it is to wreck your fellowship with each other ... and how difficult it can be to set things right?

It's never easy. But learning to faithfully and lovingly resolve those differences yields sweet fruit: husbands and wives experience forgiveness and discover fresh joy, hope, and oneness in their relationship.

The Two

Smirk

Love that little smirk - peanut butter lips and all!

Real competition

Daddy came back just in time for the last quarter.

Going in for the tackle.

hut, hut!

There is nothing he loves more...and in this instance I'm referring to Jordan, not Sully!

Football

Sullivan got very frustrated with me while Jordan had the two older girls out for the last bike ride.

He wanted to play football but his big ole' pregnant mom was not good competition.

So he played alone.

He was all the positions...

offensive line - blocking the imaginary defense

Linebacker - tackling the imaginary offense

running back - getting tackled by the imaginary whatevers...

He really likes to tackle and be tackled

And quaterback - throwing to the imaginary wide receiver

I was allowed to be the cheerleader.

Out with a bang!

School starts Wednesday.

T-minus 2 days.

Jordan had today off.

We had no real plans.

When we woke up I asked Jordan if we could head to George Wyth State Park for a day of fun.

And off we went.

I love these unplanned days.

They almost always seem to end up giving us the best time and memories.

We are ushering summer out with a bang!

They had SO much fun and thanked us for the day a million times.

Tess had fun climbing and running.

Sully conquered the climbing wall.

And there was a lot of bike riding.

Lauren and Avery were really tired after racing daddy!

Random ugliness and pictures of cuteness

This isn't going to be pretty or really uplifting.

But I've got to blog the low points too.

So to make up for my words I'm including pictures of the

ADORABLE PRINCESS CONTESSA!

and captions which will probably make the whole thing more random and hard to follow.

Bear with me.

I'm like 30 weeks pregnant with #5.

Sunday the shower project was looking good.

We were able to use it that night for baths and Jordan and I both used it on Monday morning.

Then that morning I couldn't figure out where the drip I was hearing in the

kitchen was coming from.

Yep.

Shower leaked.

Into my kitchen.

On to my 2 year old wood ceiling.

Yep.

Jordan came home and started ripping the ceiling out.

And that is when I grabbed the kids and left for the pool.

Could. not. Take. it.

Miss Adorable chose her own clothes today.

And INSISTED that she do it 'myself, mommy!'

She also chose the headband...and it is just too much for me to take.

Almost got it here mom!

School starts in one week exactly.

Supplies are bought. Bags are packed.

They are so excited.

My heart is so heavy.

Someone asked me if I was anxious for school to start?

No.

Am I ready for schedules and structure and fall weather?

Yes.

But I want those things and I want Lauren and Avery home.

We've had an amazing summer. I'm so thankful for my time with these 4.

Dont get me wrong. There has been a lot of fighting the past 2-3 weeks. A lot.

They are ready to go.

I am not.

I want them here.

I'm sad and depressed about it.

I'm not kidding about it or speaking in jest.

Here is her silly face! Love her.

This is her precious face. Oh she makes my heart hurt.

She makes it smile. She makes it so very happy.

She promised me she isn't ever going to kindergarten.

I gave her a sucker for it.

I'm over this pregnancy.

Back pain. Some serious hip and pelvis issues.

Heart burn.

and yes, oh yes, contractions.

I am trying not to complain...I KNOW I am blessed. I know it.

I feel it. And when I feel this baby move I get depressed that this is it. The last time I'll feel that.

But at the same time...I'm done. With 10 weeks to go...I. Am. Done.

This is her thoughtful look - dont you just want to snuggle with her?

Saturday I am playing in a golf tournament.

Yep, you read that right.

I agreed to it in June.

June was like 9 months ago.

If nothing else this will be good for comic relief.

and a lot of sweating.

I am not sure if there is anything I could be dreading more.

I take that back...school starting...Im dreading that more.

Oh my little love....

And with all that randomness I will leave you as we

head to the pool for one of the last times of the season.