Prone to Wander

Do you ever sit and wonder...'why is my first impulse not to dive into my devotions'?

I have alone time every day during nap/rest time. Alone. Ah...Its MY time.

Typically I dont really take it as my time...I do laundry, organize supper, clean...you know.

But there are days when I plop on the couch and grab my computer like it is made of gold and I lose myself.

Yesterday out of the corner of my eye I saw my devotions sitting there. Neglected. I have been ignoring them before bed lately and I guess they were tired of it. I had just plopped down. I was EXHAUSTED. Tori had not slept well the night before and I wanted some peace.

So I ignored them and started in on the computer and those books kept seeming bigger and bigger in my peripheral view. (Side note...Isn't the Holy Spirit amazing?!) 

Finally I sighed, annoyed, put my computer down and picked up the book. I read my 2 chapters and hurriedly threw it to the side on top of my bible and picked the computer back up.

After all, I deserve some me time! Come on, right?

Then this morning I thougth to myself...what is wrong with me?!? 

(Again...the Holy Spirit...amazing)

Why, when I have quiet moments, am I not eagerly diving into His Word? Why am I not anxious to get at it? Why does the blog world or email or pinterest or my latest Christmas project or even laundry call to me over that?

Then later today I heard this song...Come Thou Fount...and I remembered that on two of the blogs I checked yesterday I had been asked to go listen to it or read the lyrics. And I also remembered the story a friend had posted on facebook about dying to self...and somehow it all kind of clicked.

See, Im a worthless sinner. 

Just as the song says, 'Prone to Wander Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love.'

And my daily prayer has to be, 'Here's my heart Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.' and 'Bind my wandering heart to Thee.'

Without me asking Him for help on that daily...I am so easily distracted. So wandering!

The world is a beautiful place. Filled with beautiful 'distractions'! And I'm not saying they dont have their place or that we aren't allowed to relax and have fun. But I was struck with the fact that my FIRST inclincation is to those distractions and not to Him.

And oh Satan knows that and he fills us with lies like, 'but I deserve some ME time!'
He and his minnions are ever so crafty and always on the hunt. 

I'm the type that even though God sent his Only Son to die for me..and save me from a deserved hell...I stray. I let this world fool me and draw me in.

Worthless, pathetic sinner.

And yet.

Precious.

Precious to Him who came to save me. He who laid in a manager and took on man. Precious enough for Him who knew no sin to become sin...

Phillipians 2:7-8
'But Jesus made Himself of no reputation, and took upon Him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in a fashion as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient unto death, even the death of The Cross.'

2 Corinthians 5:21
'For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.'


Go back and read that one again...

And I am thankful that I was reminded of that this christmas season. 

Of the magnitude of that gift amidst the breveity of my sin.

And that instead of focusing on the fact THAT He came I may need to focus more on WHY He came.

And celebrate Him for that. 

Because He didn't stay a baby in the manager. 

No, He became my Savior. 

And that is Christmas.

Luke 2:11

'For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the LORD!'

Isaiah 9:6-7

For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given: and the government shall be upon His shoulder: and His Name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Of the increase of His government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his Kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with Judgement and with Justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this.'