My motto for this new week...

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.

Ephesians 6:10

-Amen.

And when the lights are low

Again this year, once the house was quieter and the lights were turned down low, my tears started to fall.

Christmas always makes us think of our own childhoods and so of course my thoughts turn to my dad. I just sit and stare at the tree and let myself cry. Let myself miss him. Let myself feel sad and cheated and lonely for him. Let myself wish and pray for just one more Christmas. Just one more hug. One more everything.

Again, I know, he's in heaven. And I would never ask him to come back. Never ask him to spend this Christmas anywhere else but at his Savior's feet. And I know that God's plan is perfect and I wouldn't change His plans...

But for tonight, I'm sad. And I miss my daddy.

Decorate!

Tonight was decorate the tree night in our house. So that meant homemade pizza for supper and frosting sugar cookies for dessert.

Everyone had a great time. I wised up from last year...after 4 kids I'm starting to figure some of this out...I decorated the rest of the house with only Lauren and Avery's help. I did it when the other two were not around to cause me to go over the edge. And really Lauren and Avery are pretty good help these days.

So tonight was much more laid back...only one big box of stuff...instead of like 10, much less mess, much less time. All of which equals much more fun for the kids and much less stress for mom and dad!

We have a new tree this year so it took some figuring out which did just about cause a fight for Jordan and I at one point but there was no yelling! ;) Check Tess out 'helping' Lauren and I with the lights.

I have to post pictures of me when they are ever taken...so my kids know I really was around!

Love this group so very much and I'm so happy I get to call them mine!

Let the season begin...

Tonight was the annual Christmas kick off in our town.

These three were SO excited about it. They could not wait for Daddy to get home from work.

And I was excited to take pictures...

Tess loved the horse drawn trolley ride and bawled when we got off.

And we ran into our favorite person, ZANNA!

After the trolley ride and cookies with hot chocolate we watched the Ice Man do his sculptures.

And with that...bring on Christmas! ;)

The day after

Sully, How did you spend your day after Thanksgiving?

Making sugar cookies!!!!!

And Tess, How did you spend your day after Thanksgiving?

Two ways...eating Lucky Charms while watching Mommy and Sully make cookies and taking all of Mommy's cooking utensils, measuring cups and spoons and cookie cutters and scattering them all over the house!

And Lauren and Avery, what about you?

Well, no one would know. Because apparently they are suddenly teenagers. They have spent the ENTIRE day in their room, with the door closed, playing, listening to music and screaming if anyone opened the door.

That about sums it up...

I read this quote tonight and I thought, 'Wow, that really sums up how I am feeling on this thanksgiving." Because again, I truly am so very blessed beyond measure.

'All this...and heaven too.'

Matthew Henry

Happy Thanksgiving 2009

I couldn't be more blessed or more thankful for all that I have.

Love it

Avery dancing to 'O Holy Night' in my dining room with only a few Christmas lights on is possibly the sweetest cutest thing ever.

(She was so into it, she didn't even notice me taking pictures from the next room.)

Speaking

There have been times in my life where its seemed I was begging God to speak to me, to tell me the answers I was looking for...and for whatever the reasons, my own blindness, my sin, my inability or unwillingness to listen to Him...I couldn't hear.

And there have been times in my life where it seems that everywhere I turn He is speaking. Directly to me.

Like now.

Deuteronomy 33:27

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms."

Only God is to be our stregnth, in the final analysis, we are to lean only on His everlasting arms. -Swindoll

Isaiah 41:10

"Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

God is just waiting for His moment, waiting for us to trust Him, so He can empower us to fight our battles. The battle is the Lords. - Swindoll

When the soverign God brings us to nothing, it is to reroute our lives, not to end them. - Swindoll

My prayer...

Take My Life and Let It Be and let it be Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in ceaseless praise.

Take my silver and my gold: Not a mite would I withhold;
Take my intellect, and use Ev'ry pow'r as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine,
It shall be no longer mine;
Take my heart, it is Thine own,
It shall be Thy royal throne.It shall be Thy royal throne.

Take myself, and I will be,Ever, only, all for Thee.

Ever, only, all for Thee.

My sweet kids

I came home from work tonight exhausted in every sense of the word. And in tears because I forgot about Avery and Sullivan's preschool conferences and didn't have anyone to watch the kids.

But these four dont care about things like work, and conferences, and schedules and timelines and deadlines and meetings and all the rest.

They just want to see me.

Their mom.

They just want me to hug them, read to them, tell them I love them and smile at them.

And I am so beyond blessed and so very very happy that I get to be their mommy.

They teach me things everyday. Probably more than I teach them.

My prayer tonight is for God to make me the mom that they deserve. That they will see things in me that they want to be. That they will see Christ in me and will want Him in their lives too. That they will know that they are my entire being and that I love them more than I ever thought possible.

I'm a mom

I had been planning a trip to Muscatine to tonight's "Water 4 Christmas" event for about 2 months.

Excited for many reasons - to support Cassie and her crew, to support the cause, to spend time with Melanie on the drive down, to enjoy the event, to meet some of the great women

I know only through blogs...etc etc etc.

Then yesterday Tess came down with pink eye, which graduated to diarrhea this morning and then Jordan brought Sullivan home from church with much of the same.

While pouting that my plans had been foiled again...I reminded myself..."I'm a mom. This is where a mom needs to be today."

I wont lie, I'm disappointed...but these two's dance show has been keeping me laughing and smiling so far this afternoon.

Saturday night

I got the idea for this fun twist on pancakes and knew the kids would love it! Thanks Courtney. They were a big hit and I'm sure we will do this a lot now.

I love the little princess crown peeking into this picture!

Jordan got involved and started making some very creative pancakes! I remember my grandma used to make me pancakes shaped like kittens...I thought it was the coolest.

She would have really loved these.

Here's the PICKY princess...the colored pancakes actually got her to try pancakes for the first time. And she loved them. Thank you colored pancakes!

(and yes, why wouldn't you wear a tutu and a crown to supper?!)

And the fun supper brought out the sillies in my kids too!

Then the master baker had to make us dessert.

Fussnated

Sullivan: "I get so fussnated when the DS starts after I pause it."

Is she here yet?

Avery got up about 7:30 today. Brooklyn is arriving at 10:30. She has asked no less than 15 times if she is here yet...She knows it starting to wear on me...so she's trying to ask sweeter...

She called me into her room to see that she laid out she and

Brooklyn's first set of dress up clothes.

Once I told her that Brooklyn would be here in 30 minutes she decided it would be best to just stand here and keep an eye out.

More random wierdness

Random weirdness seems to be the story of my life right now.

Just chaotic and no time to really put to thoughts together...

but amidst the chaos are some really good things.

Memories I want to keep.

Here are some of the top ones for the past week:

1. Sullivan calls this his 'Jesus Songs Book'. He told Jordan the other night..."I have to sleep with it, it keeps me from having bad dreams, cause its Jesus singing to me." Love him.

2. Jordan called me today and said, "I saw someone out walking their dog and so I just wanted to call and tell you that I love you. And thank you. For not making me get a dog." Love him too. He cracks me up and makes me feel so loved at the same time.

3. Avery has been begging to have Brooklyn over for literally weeks. She is coming tomorrow for a playdate. She has talked of nothing else all week. Before bed tonight she tells Jordan, "Daddy! Brooklyn is coming tomorrow and is staying all night." Uh, no...but cute.

4. I think Tess is cutting her molars. She has been whiny and clingy the past couple days. But SO snuggly that its almost worth it. Tonight when I rocked her before bed and sang to her she stroked my cheek and when I finished singing she just smiled at me. Like saying, Im sorry Im being difficult...and I love you. I love this age. Love it.

5. Tonight's suppertime question was, "Name three things you are thankful for." Lauren's answers were, 1. my family that loves me, 2. that I can go to school and learn, cause some kids cant, 3. that thanksgiving is coming and we will see all our family that we dont see and we can all sit down together and eat. She's like 22.

6. Tonight Sullivan named all his stuffed animals in his room after characters from the MarioKart game. Cute and also scary...he's so obsessed. He has been banned from it since Tuesday as a punishment and he gets the privilege back tomorrow. We'll see how long it lasts.

7. Girl Talk Jenga. Lauren got this game for her birthday and Jordan has played it with them about every night since then. Its hysterical to me. One of the questions in the game is, who do you have a crush on? Lauren refused to answer the question and got very embarrassed. But Avery chimes right in, "I'll tell you who I have a crush on...Patrick!" Talk about scary obsessions...there's one!

8. I dont know if its that the holidays are coming or what but lately I feel like I am constantly thinking about my dad. I miss him like crazy. You'd think that after 3.5 years have passed you might get used to the absence. But you dont. Im seeing now that I probably will always feel a piece of my heart is gone. But I am really blessed to have Melanie in my life during this. She lost her dad 10 years before I lost my dad. It means the world to have her there to understand and listen. Its also nice to have Jordan ...who misses my dad as much as I do and lets me go on and on whenever I need to. I'm crazy blessed.

Hair and Thanksgiving

All four of the kids got hair cuts today...and I forgot my camera! It was so cute to see them sitting in their little hair drapes and suckers.

I love Lauren and Avery's cuts. They are both layered and framed around their faces...so grown-up.

And seriously, Thanksgiving is in one week! How can that be?

How's that for random?

I had two wonderful surprises from the two of my girls tonight at bedtime.

1. While getting Tess's room set up for the night I glanced in her crib and saw this sweet picture that Avery had made for her and set nicely in her crib, there was also one on my bed! She is beyond sweet right now.

2. Then Miss Sweetness herself, Contessa left me this nice present in the 1/2 bath. (That is at least 1/2 a roll in there)

And I just had to post about my husband's recent accomplishments. He and my brother Nick along with some help from Papa Dennis put up this shed in our yard this weekend. None of them really have any experience with things like this...and its up, its sturdy and no one went to the Emergency Room in the process! YEAH! It still needs to be painted but that will have to wait till Spring.

Sully was beyond bummed that I wouldn't let him sleep up there on Sunday night. He really would have if I'd let him.

That's what friends do

Avery: "Mommy, do you know how I know that Brooklyn is my friend? Because when I look at her, she smiles at me. And that's what friends do."

Love her.

Written just for me...

EXODUS 14:14

"The Lord will fight for you...you need only to be still"

She's happy, Mommy's sad

Lauren had a wonderful day.

It started with donuts, happy birthday singing and presents from mom and dad.

She got an EZ Bake oven from us. She's been asking for it for literally a year and a half. I finally realized she really could do it all on her own this year...so I got it for her.

She LOVES it! Here she is with her baking assistants...all fresh from the bath tub this morning.

After a quiet morning we headed to my mom's house for birthday lunch and then home so she could just play with her things.

We ended the night with games and daddy's famous shakes.

Then she requested we watch a video from when she was a baby. It never fails to get me crying.

Tonight I was filled with the realization that we dont have many years left of nights like tonight - where they are all home, all seeking our attention and ALL OURS!

Soon Lauren wont be curled up next to Jordan and I on the couch while Tess and Avery dance to the music from the video and Sully plays the DS while watching it all from the love seat.

And while I do realize that they are not MINE to begin with...they are on loan to me from above...Suddenly, something inside me is starting to hurt.

Happy 8th Birthday, Lauren Elaine!

Lauren,

I'm pretty sure that at age 4 I forbade you from having any more birthdays...but you seem to have ignored that request.

At 8 you are a joy to everyone who knows you. We often hear, 'she isn't a little girl...she is a young lady.' And a very sweet young lady at that. And just when I think my heart cant get any bigger, I turn around and I love you that much more and am that much more proud of you.

I love how your face beams when you have one on one time with your dad or I. I love how you are so excited to tell me all about your day. I love that you are the best reader and that you LOVE it. I love how you also love to create and to decorate, run and jump.

I love how you take your brother and sisters under your wing and read to them, play with them, fix their owies and make them laugh. I love it that the first thing Tess says when she wakes up from a nap is, "Bo-bo?" Asking for her big sister. You are truly the best big sister that anyone could have and one day I hope that they realize how blessed they are to have you in their lives.

I love how you work so hard at school and that your teacher comments that you like to do everything by the rules and you even make sure your classmates are going by the rules. That she'd love to have 20 more students just like you!

But I also love that you know how to have fun. You love to giggle and play. Your dad and I treasure those times when you start having one of your laugh attacks. It is contagious and soon our entire family is laughing, and we often dont even know why! What a blessing you are.

Lauren, it seems unimaginable that you can be turning 8 years old today. I remember the day you were born and thinking that I would never know how to raise you ...and here you are...becoming a young lady right before our eyes. You are truly a gift to your family.

I know that God's plans for you will be great ones. And I pray that you will open your heart to His calling and follow Him with all your heart. Your dad and I are here to help you find that way and to guide you and love you.

Thank you Lauren, for eight years of sheer joy and laughter. What would we ever do without our Bo-bo?

All our love sweet precious girl...all our love.

Mommy and Daddy

Perfect

What does it take to make the perfect party for an 8 year old?

1. a lot of pink and purple...and the cake she requested (hidden behind her cake plate.)

2. Little sisters ready to join in the fun (Sullivan was sent to Grandma's for the night!)

3. A dance party!!!! They danced. all. night. long! LOUD MUSIC! (and Tess was in on every bit of it and it was INSANELY cute. All the girls were so good to her and to Avery.)

4. Tons of friends!

5. A fingernail polish version of hot-potato! (What a serious mess, but also a serious amount of fun!)

6. And a movie to end the night!

This was my favorite part of the night. There had been some drama earlier in the night...some tears of so and so being left out and so on. But after about an hour of that...it ended and they all got along great. They are a fun class and we had a blast just listening to them. Its fun (well fun and terrifying) to try and imagine them 10 years in the future as seniors in high school. Will they be having another sleep over at my house?

I love this age. Time can stop. They are still sweet and innocent enough to WANT Jordan and I to sit and watch the movie with them...I even cuddled on the couch with two of the guests - at their request. And yet they are old enough to have hilarious conversations about cute boys ect.

7. Apparently another important element of a successful sleepover is staying up till morning. Yep, at 1:30 AM I finally gave the ultimatum that the fun was over, talking had to cease and sleep had to come.

And at 7:15 am they were back up and at 'em!

Its TIME!

The first party guest has arrived and its getting wild and crazy here already!

Our house will be filled with 8 extra little girls tonight.

Everything is ready to go...but my cake is kind of a flop. Its the Leaning Tower of Pisa with a REALLY bad frosting job.

You know its bad when the 8 year old party guest tells you, "Its ok, who says the frosting has to look perfect?" Before I even mentioned that it wasn't!

Oh well, it should still taste good and next time I'll remember - "order the cake, order the cake!"

Here's to a fun, loud, memorable night!

Friday

There is going to have to be A LOT of this today...aka - them playing nicely together, without me.

I just remembered how time consuming this rainbow cake is that Lauren requested for her party tonight and I still have quite a bit of other prep work for tonight's slumber party...like creating the scavenger hunt game that she also requested!

So why am I blogging?

ah!!! I'm off to shower!

Its time to give your 1st gift of the season.