Another look back...

With all the looking back over 10 years I've been doing this week I've also thought about the not so great things that have been a part of our marriage.

No, everything is not always peaches and cream.

But I am so blessed that God gave me a man who knows where to turn during those rough patches.

That when we struggle he knows that our Saviour holds the key. That he leads me to where we need to turn together. That our struggles are God's way of teaching us thigns and allowing us to grow closer to Him and closer to each other.

Marriage has shown me some sides of myself that I am not always proud of. I can be selfish and immature and needy.

During what I would call our roughest time in the past 10 years I was introduced to the book Sacred Marriage - by Gary Thomas. The point of the book is this..."What if God designed marriage NOT to make us happy...but to make us holy?"

Wow, reading that was hard. You mean Jordan wasn't created to fill my every need, want and desire? He wasn't married to me to ensure that I slept in a bed of roses and woke every day to singing in sunshine? Well what did I sign up for then?

Thomas explains and uses countless scripture references to support this: God designed marriage to - make me a servant, expose my sin, teach me to pray, teach me to respect, to SUBMIT, to forgive, to be aware of God's presence and to develop and further my (our) spiritual calling.

Um, wow.

Suddenly perspectives change. If marriage isnt all about me being happy and I allow God to work with me on that thought...suddenly submission, giving and all those things listed above become easier and even a blessing! Wow, our God is so awesome and good!

With that in mind, I havent always fought fair...or been kind. When I look back over 10 years I see a lot of happiness...a decade of a wonderful marriage...but I also see some things that cause me to blush.

Some things that I have learned and that I hope to not have to learn again!

We've had times in our marriage where our fights and arguments were not pleasing to God...or anyone involved for that matter! We've come along way and I believe we have learned SO very much about how to disagree in the beginning of a conversation and work towards agreement in the end. It hasn't been easy...and I know that there will be difficult times in the future. But I also know that when we look back together we can clearly see the mistakes we've made and how we've learned from them.

I am not sorry for the rough patches. I am ever so thankful for them. James 1:2-3,12 says, "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into divers temptations ; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. Blessed is the man that endureth temptation, for when he is tried he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord has promised to all that love him."

Because without them, without God pushing us to grow and mature together and in Him, we would not be where we are. We would not have the kind of relationship we have now.

Thank you Jordan for learning with me, growing with me and moving forward with me and for trusting in Him during the hard times with me! If the next ten years are anything like the last...it will be quite a ride!