Whatcha' up to?

Just some of my favorite pictures from the week...

Tess is just a happy funny girl.

I swear she makes these faces just to get me to laugh.

She is the best.

And I just couldn't love her more.

Sully turns 4 in two weeks. He is so ready for his 'Superhero' party.

Its hard to believe he can be turning 4. But he definetly acts older everyday.

His imagination is so amazing.

And oh how he loves to play Risk with Daddy. I think Jordan would tire of it before Sully.

Here he is concentrating on his next move.

And here he is pointing out Egypt to me. Risk is definetly a good game for teaching your kids geography. Sully can find many obscure countries on the map/game board.

Lauren loves Fridays at school, its Spartan Spirit Day. She loves wearing her jersey.

She had a really great Friday today because she brought home her latest math test with a 99%! She has been struggling with some of the concepts but is getting it mastered now. Its rewarding for her to figure out that 'practice really does make perfect!' We have chocolate chip cookies for dessert tonight to celebrate!

Avery got to have Brooklyn and Alex over to play for much of the day. It was so cute to watch them play Barbies and school together. Avery took over the teacher role since Lauren was at school. She copied Lauren's words and actions - very cute!

While cleaning the basement I found an entire box of coloring books. Avery has been in heaven. She could color all day long!

And even though he finds great pleasure in beating his young children at board games...I still love him more than anything in the world!

And this has been my project...my blanket. Its coming along great!

Our plan for this weekend is to finish the basement project and then start preparations for next weekend's BIG project...refinishing our hard wood floors. It really makes me almost want to vomit thinking about literally moving completely out of 3 of the rooms of our house...but I also know when we are done and our new living room furniture arrives...it will be totally worth it. The floors have needed to be done since we moved in 7 years ago...but newborn babies kind of kept getting in the way of that plan!

So if you are in our neighborhood a week from tonight...and you have some big muscles...feel free to stop by and help make my blood pressure rise by moving all the furniture out of my LVR, Den and Dining room....(hint, hint Garrick!) ;)

Celery

After baths tonight Avery said, "mommy, do you need to put some celery on my nose?"

I stared at her. Huh?

Avery: "You know, celery" (In a tone that clearly was like MOM, DUH!)

Me: "Avery I honestly have no idea what you could possibly be talking about right now."

Avery: "urgh!"

Then she walks over to the drawer and gets out this:

Me: "Ah! You mean Vaseline! Not celery honey...Vaseline!"

Avery: "Same thing...do you need to put it on my nose 'cause its red?"

Me:"Yes Avery lets put some of that on your nose."

And to myself I said, "And please will you always think that Vaseline and celery are the same thing because that was unbelievably cute. And I'd like to keep you age 5 for the rest of eternity."

18 Months

Can someone please explain how they go from this...

(8 months)

To this...

(18 months)

...In the blink of an eye?

Contessa turned 18 months on the first of this month. But we had her well child appointment today. She's doing everything she should be. Weighing in at 25lbs (65%) and measuring 32.5 inches tall (also 65%).

But these are the things about her that I never want to forget:

She is a good sleeper but doesn't require a lot...she's like Avery in that department.

Naps for 1.5-2 hours in the afternoon. She goes to bed at 7:30-8 pm and gets up about 6:30 am. But after a little drink of milk and a diaper change she goes back to sleep until 8:30 or 9. Which is WONDERFUL.

She loves to eat and will eat just about anything...but no crackers or cookies...weird. She likes cheese better than anything.

When she is hungry she brings me the toaster. I love that. I never want to forget her little body waddling over to me with the toaster.

She is stubborn! Much more strong willed and independent at this age than any of our other kids were. When she is mad...watch out! And she insists on doing everything on her own. And I mean insists.

She adores Lauren and has her wrapped around her finger. Every morning the first thing she says is, "Bo-bo?"

She is usually frustrated by Avery because Avery touches and hugs her too much. But when Lauren isnt around she accepts Avery readily!

She tolerates Sullivan and loves to wrestle and torture him.

She doesnt play with toys, except for dolls. But she can play for hours with measuring cups, tupperware, pens and lids, shoes, scarves and the stairs.

She is into everything. The three older kids NEVER messed with my kitchen cupboards. Tess is constantly in them. She also likes to get into the toilet and the entertainment unit. She likes to put DVD's in the VCR. Yeah, we love that.

She loves her daddy like only a little girl can. When she hears the front door rattle she goes running, screaming, DADDY!

She has a very large and growing vocabulary. She says Avery and Sully's names almost perfectly but still calls Lauren 'Bo-bo'. My favorite phrase is 'mere...for come here. My least favorite is 'Done'...which she says constantly while riding in the car, or when she is done with a meal and she gives us her warning shout of 'Done!' and then throws her plate on the floor!

She loves animals more than anything and gets very excited to see them, pet them, lay on them, lick them, bite them ect. She loves Uncle Jordan's dog, Laney.

She is an awesome cuddler. My 3 older kids stopped letting me rock them to sleep at about 3 months of age. Tess still lets me do that. And I love it. She loves for me to sing to her.

She loves to dance and the poor thing has Sullivan's moves!

She loves the nursery at church and being around other kids. She loves cousin Adele and says her name in the cutest pitch.

She is a terror at the library. She refuses to stay in the 'kid' area with me. She runs everywhere and I end up chasing her around.

She loves to be the center of attention and to have people laugh at her. She'll do anything for a laugh. She doesn't get embarrassed but she has this sheepish grin when she gets in trouble that is the exact same one that Avery has.

Her hair is bad...but with a bow it ends up being pretty cute!

She folds her hands and bows her head when we pray. And she wants her turn to pray to. She says Jesus and Amen and then claps and looks around for us to applaud as well.

Contessa what did we do before you?

You are the spark of our family right now and we all adore you.

Uh......?

I just walked up from the basement from doing laundry and thought, "Gee, what time is it because it feels like I should probably put the casserole in for supper."

Then I thought, "Well that cant be because its still pretty light out."

So did you notice it too!? Its 5:00! And I can still see the sun!

And you know what that means?!?!?! This winter is not going to last forever! Its time to break out the shorts and flip flops folks!

Ok, I might have gotten a little too excited about that but seriously, it did make my heart jump!

THIS WEATHER!!!!!

Jordan left Ackley for home at 5:30.

In the middle of a blizzard. A horrible, horrible Iowa blizzard.

He called at 5:45 and they were stuck. Luckily he was not alone but had a coworker with him and they were being followed by another. But they were all stuck. And in their suits and dress shoes.

At 7:45 he called again to say that they were still 4 miles outside of Ackley! But they were unstuck and reinforcements had arrived to ensure they made it to town. So they had gone 4 miles in over 2 hours.

I cant imagine how cold they are and tired.

They are all spending the night in Ackley.

And winter can officially end. And I am going to bed as soon as he calls to say they are in a house safe and warm. My nerves are shot.

Mother of the Year

Forgot Lauren had a 2 hour late start due to a Teacher In-Service.

Sent her to school. The school called and sent her home.

Then we were working in the basement and Lauren went upstairs for something. Then came running downstairs...Mommy! Its 10:26!!!

School started at 10:15. I had to call the school and tell them she was coming.

Yep, Mother of the Year, that's me!

?????

I developed seasonal allergies sometime in the past 5-7 years. Previous to that I have not had any trouble.

Now I cant handle dust, certain flowers and even since we got rid of our cat - cats! Terrible.

This past fall we did a big cleaning day at my mom's. I did a lot of dusting and sweeping. By the end of it I was wheezing and could hardly stay inside.

Yesterday I spent probably 30 minutes total in the basement helping Jordan. Since we were moving stuff there was dust flying. When we went to bed I started a weird cough and within minutes I was wheezing. My chest was really tight and I had to think to breath comfortably.

I took an over the counter allergy pill and went to sleep.

Now this morning I am still struggling to breathe properly and my chest just feels heavy.

What is this all about? Should I be worried? I feel like I have asthma?

And more importantly, does this mean I can hire a maid because I shouldn't be around dust? And will insurance cover that?! ;)

Love is in the air!

The kids had a very fun day at Grandma Cindy's today. She invited them over to make Valentines for some special people.

She had her kitchen set up with seven different card making stations.

And they were each so cute and so fun for the kids.

Thank you Grandma Cindy!

Here are two of the options and a card making station.

Grandma explaining the stations and the boys hard at work!

The girls having fun!

I also need to give a big declaration of love to my husband.

We've had a bit of a disaster in our basement ever since we did our remodel 2 years ago.

When I started my room-by-room overhaul at the beginning of this month he caught the fever too. As of today you would not recognize our basement. We have new shelving, MUCH more space, ORGANIZATION and we will be getting rid of SO MUCH JUNK!

Some women dream in diamonds, some in chocolate, some in fancy dinners

or strolls along the beach.

But me, well I dream in organization.

And I am SO thankful for all Jordan's hard work this weekend.

We still have some work ahead of us down there but the hardest part is done and now with this great start finishing it up will be a piece of cake!

I'm giddy. Literally.

I love you Jordan!

And now I can't even play RISK!

It was a normal Saturday evening. We were driving home for a shopping trip in Cedar Falls anticipating making BLT's for supper.

And then our plans got thrown off.

The kids were all playing in the back - it was loud. Then it got louder because Sullivan was no longer having fun. He was screaming.

Turned out that Lauren, sitting kitty-corner behind him, had pulled on his wrist very hard.

We ended up exiting the highway and checking him out. He would not move it and would not stop screaming.

We went home and called Aunt 'Dr. Trina' to see if she could check it out before we made a trip to the ER.

We finally got him to move it without screaming and Trina worked her magic and gave us the diagnosis that it was likely just sprained.

Now 3 hours later he seems almost good as new.

As we pulled out of Trina's driveway Sully said, "Trina is the BEST Dr. EVER."

But even better and cuter was right after the 'injury' he declared from the back seat, "And now I can't even play RISK!" (the obsession continues in our house!)

Oh the drama...and now I'm ready for bed!

What? Your house isn't covered in feathers?

I find piles like this all around my house.

I think it has something to do with the fact that they dress in things like this -

and this...

and this...

and that they play with toys like this...

and this...

Someday I'll miss finding feather's on my floor. Someday I'll miss little girls asking me to watch their 'fashion shows'. Someday I'll miss them being ballerinas and princesses and 'superstars'.

But today, my back kind of hurts from picking up all those little feathers! :)

Submission

I read this on one of my favorite blogs the other day and it kept coming back to me so I thought I'd share it for the rest of you.

To set it up, the author is Leighann and her blog is inspiring. She is the mother of 3. Her youngest, Ryan, was born with a serious heart problem. There story is on her blog.

the 'Giant' she refers to is her husband, Henry. So read this and then start reading her blog. Its great.

Submission:

Have you ever watched Dancing with the Stars? Come on, admit it. I know you have. And if you haven’t then well, I hope you still get the picture.

Whenever I watch ballroom dancing, I always marvel at the fancy footwork, the graceful movements, the strength and control of the dancers. Both have to be strong and both have to know their moves.

A few years ago, the Giant and I took a Cha-Cha class. I kept getting the feet work wrong and Henry finally said, "Would you quit thinking and let me lead?" At first I thought it was a great example of submission, but something about it rubbed me wrong. And then it dawned on me.

If you watch DWTS you know it’s pretty easy to tell the professional from the amateur. The interesting thing is, when a professional man and an amateur female are paired, you can tell the woman is not in top form, but the dance goes okay. However, when it is the professional female and the amateur male, it looks awkward. It seems like the delicate, graceful partner is dragging her unpracticed amateur partner around the dance floor. It looks plain bad.

Because you see, within the realm of ballroom dancing the partners must not only be in sync, but the male must lead. And when he doesn’t – it’s awkward and not pretty to watch.

And the funny thing is, the female dancer doesn’t take any offense that in their partnership there is a definite leader and it’s not her. She understands that she must be in tip-top shape and on her A game too.

It is the same with marriage. There is an equal partnership with two very important roles. This doesn’t make one partner more important than the other. It doesn’t make one partner weaker than the other. In fact, the partnership is only as strong as its weakest link.

So next time you wonder what each spouse looks like in a marriage with submission, think of dancers. Graceful, supportive, cooperative, and passionate with one leading and the other twirling beautiful circles around her partner.

again

Its winter storm #765 around here.

This time its ice.

School, play-n-share, preschool and likely AWANA tonight are all cancelled.

Looks like I'll be getting the piles of laundry done today and playing a lot of 'Go Fish', 'Guess Who' and 'UNO'!

Get in Shape Girl!

Do you remember that line of 'toys' for girls from oh, like the late 80's? I can still sing the jingle. "Get in shape girl! You'll the feelin' Get in shape girl! Its so appealin'!"

If you don't remember it, look it up on YouTube. Its great.

Anyway, I no longer need silly marketing schemes to make me feel out of shape, overweight and inadequate. My scale started telling me. And it seems to be a lot louder.

Well my wonderful, supportive, awesome, thoughtful friend Melanie gave me an early birthday gift and I now have a 2 month YMCA membership!

I tried it out for the first time tonight. And while I've got a ways to go, I feel great. And so I guess the commercial was right...I do 'love the feelin!'

Thank you Melanie!!!!!!!

A glimpse of things to come

Sullivan and Jordan are in the middle of a hot and never ending game of RISK.

Surprisingly, Sullivan loves playing the game.

After supper tonight he got up from the table and Jordan was at the sink dealing with the dishes. Sullivan headed out of the room and called back over his shoulder, "Game's on Dad!"

It just sounded SO cute and he called him "Dad" not "Daddy".

He just loves doing competitive things with his dad. And I love watching it. I have a feeling he'll call that out to Jordan many times in the coming years.

And I cant wait.

Voila!

And after just one lessson...I'm a bread artist.

Ok, so maybe not. This was the one loaf out of 4 that looks 'pretty'.

The others have some lops and bulges...similiar to the artist!

Cassie, I think I need one more lesson to get those 'tuck and roll' and 'pinch the seams' techniques down. (In my defense, I had A LOT of Sullivan's 'help' and I was making cookie dough at the same time.)

But it still tasted yummy and we ate almost one entire loaf right out of the oven.

YUM!

Cassie and bread

I got to go see Cassie for a bread making class today. Without my kids! My mom volunteered to watch them and I jumped at it.

A day with Cassie! With out kids! So we could talk! AWESOME. And I'm pretty sure we haven't had that since before we had kids...so 8 years.

I love Cassie. She is very different from me. And she brings out the parts in me that are so different from her. And I love that. She is so GOOD FOR ME!

I hope that she feels that way after being with me. I love that we can pick up after months without seeing each other (the last time we SAW each other was February of 2009) and still spend the whole time LAUGHING and non stop talking.

I arrived just in time to help with her crazy insane day and to get a good kick out of the chaos of her life at this time. Its pretty comical to watch from the sidelines! ;)

I'm still all smiles after my day in Muscatine. Thank you Cassie. (And Ayla, holding you was one of the best parts!)

Look at me go...

I'm getting more and more domesticated the longer I'm home!

Sully and I made homemade banana bread today.

His favorite part was chasing the girls around with the 'ripe' bananas. But he also loved making it with me. He would cook all day long with me if I could keep the recipes, patience and ingredients coming!

And I have no doubt that he, Lauren, Tess and I could have eaten the entire loaf of after supper! It was wonderful.

Thanks for the recipe and the bananas Jenny!

1 1/2 cup flour

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1/2 tsp cloves

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 tsp baking powder

1 cup sugar

2-3 ripe bananas

1/4 cup butter

2 eggs

1/4 cup chopped walnuts (I made mine without nuts)

In a mixing bowl combine flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, baking soda, salt, baking powder.

In another bowl combine sugar, bananas, butter, and eggs; mix well.

Add flour mixture; stir till just combined. Stir in nuts

Pour batter into a greased loaf pan. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 55-60 min. or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes on wire rack.

Remove from pan; cool thoroughly on a wire rack.

YUM!

Sometimes I'm just dumb

I took the kids to Awana by myself last night and then I had to go to Walmart.

We left church at 8:15, already past bed time.

The kids did great but basically because I was a drill sergeant while we were there and because Lauren is the world's most helpful and mature 8 year old EVER.

I spent yesterday afternoon making my menu and grocery list for the next 1.5 weeks. I had all my coupons ready to go. I was set.

So we are in the check out line and Lauren and Avery desperately need to go to the bathroom. So I send them off. I finish checking out, which is a disaster trying to keep Tess from unbuckling and standing up in the cart and go to find them, wondering what is taking so long.

I stand outside the restrooms for a minute and then peek my head in and say Lauren's name.

No answer.

I say it louder.

Nothing.

I YELL her name.

No reply. I scan the stalls - no one.

I run out of the bathroom and grab a Walmart employee and hysterically tell her that my children are missing.

Then it hits me.

I had been in the men's restroom.

I started breathing again, explained to the employee who thinks I am INSANE, and then go into the WOMEN's restroom where Lauren and Avery are calmly washing their hands.

Keep in mind all the time I am worried about Lauren and Avery I've basically forgotten about the other two in the cart!!!!

So we get collected and start out of the store.

And it is then that I realize...I DIDNT USE MY COUPONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously. I could have cried.

And this is why you do not go to Walmart at 8:15, on a school night, with 4 kids.

Peek - A - Boo!

READY?

PEEK

-A-BOO!

I SEE YOU!

Another concern

Contessa has ventured into the Barbie World with Lauren and Avery.

She really likes to get in on the fun.

But this morning she gave me some cause for concern.

She would only play with the boy dolls.

And she would only play with them unclothed.

And she would just sit them up on this couch like this and laugh.

Great.

Real, real nice.

Now which daughter should I worry about more?

St. PATRICK's Day

Avery: Mommy, why do they call it St. Patrick's Day?

Mommy: (a bit confused about why we are even talking about it) Well, I guess cause its about a man named St. Patrick.

Avery: Well I like St. Patrick's Day because it has PATRICK's name in it. (Patrick is the boy in her class who she has told Lauren she 'loves' and who she told me she 'just likes to look at'.)

I'm past being worried about her. I've moved on to having some genuine concern for this poor little boy named Patrick! Maybe I should call his mother and warn her.

1-800-222-1222

That's the # for Poison Control incase your Monday is anything like ours!

Seriously!

I've been a mom for over 8 years. And I've never called that #.

Dont worry, she's fine. We didn't even have to do anything but wash her mouth out. But I doubt I'll ever forget that #.

And here's a tip: If your 18 month old is REALLY quiet. Go see what's up. Because SOMETHING is up.

MIA

I've been MIA all weekend. And Ahhhhh, it was nice.

I spent the weekend starting Friday morning at the Ozarks with 3 girls that I have a weekly bible study with...Brenda, Beth, Jenny. We went to Brenda's lake house and RELAXED.

You see that big comfy couch? I sat on it for probably 75% of the time we were there. We talked, laughed, watched movies, did our devotions, prayed, cried and ATE! It was wonderful. We never left the house and rarely left that couch. And I even learned how to crochet!

I'm feeling refreshed and rejuvenated...And I'd be wrong to not thank this wonderful shower for its part in that! It has TWELVE shower heads. TWELVE. And that little beauty hanging from the top middle was PERFECT. I almost unscrewed it and took it home.

Thank you Jordan for a great weekend retreat and for having the house clean and the kids happy when I returned!

Thanks girls for an awesome trip!

Dancin' with Elmo

Let me introduce you to Contessa's most favorite toy of the moment.

He hangs on our fridge but can also sit on the table. He talks and sings.

And I love it too because it keeps her busy while I'm working in the kitchen.

Elmo makes her laugh.

But mostly she likes to jam out with him!

She really gets into his songs!

And sometimes she tries to whistle along.

Lovely

So its snowing again.

And we are bracing for another major storm.

And while I cant say it really disrupts my life that much...its still getting a little old.

And its like January 6th. When is the first day of spring? Sometime in March?

It could be a long wait.

We cant go to Awana tonight and Lauren almost cried. Just wait till school gets cancelled and she cant go there tomorrow!

Fervently

I love stumbling onto a passage in scripture that I haven't read in a long time or ever. I love how God uses His word to prick our hearts.

Lately God has been reminding me that I use being 'too busy' as an excuse way too often. Sadly even for my rather pathetic prayer life. And He's been after me about that. What I'm too busy to talk to Him? Too busy to thank Him? Too busy to sit and converse with my Savior? pathetic.

So I came upon this verse today thanks to a Facebook friend, James 5:17 "Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth."

Could that be more awesome? Elijah was a man with a nature like ME! He was like me!! And what did he do? He prayed FERVENTLY? And what happened? God answered that prayer.

Lord teach me to pray!!

Tuesday

One of the things I've been excited about staying home is to get some things/rooms organized in our house that have been left sitting since well, probably the day we unpacked. And to do some general organization and touch up painting ect.

So my task for today was to clean out my dining room hutch. Its done. I LOVE that feeling. In the process I discovered that I needed to organize all of the kids' professional photos.

This one of Sully stuck out. He will be 4 next month, he is 3 months in this picture. Oh how I miss this baby!!!

I've also been cleaning my pantry. Its done! I'm on a mission. Before spring I want to have every room gutted. Three are done. I'm on a roll. I have a feeling that once spring hits I wont ever clean or organize again...and since its FRIGID outside I have my opportunity to get it done now. I'm cleaning, vacuuming, moving furntiure, fixing paint jobs, hanging pictures, throwing out ect. Its great!

And on another note, I've played 2 games of 'Dont Wake Hulk', had a tea party with Avery, read books, and had a couple of rounds of following Tess from room to room and letting her point at stuff while I tell her what they are.

And you know what, I think they had the most fun helping me hang pictures. Sully got to hold the tools and Avery got to say, 'a little more to the right mommy'.

And that's Tuesday!

My Monday Gang

Sullivan played 'evil vet' all morning. Basically this meant putting animals in the carrier and making them sit on the steps while he went around the house with his dr.'s tools making a very evil sounding laugh. He kept asking me to take pictures of him with his 'evil face'. I was quite concerned at first. Wondering how a 3 year old learns to play 'evil vet'. But he told me he got it from the movie Beethoven. I felt better. I think.

Avery starts back to preschool today. She was a little excited. She's talked about it all morning...her friends, her teachers, centers. She's ready. And she is going to be so ready for kindergarten this fall. But I wont be, guaranteed.

Tess has just been little miss smiley pants today. She cracks me. She has a sense of humor and she loves to have people watch her and to make them laugh. But she is such a cuddle bug too. And she is into EVERYTHING. But truly, I love 18 month olds. They are the best. Their little voices learning to talk are the sweetest. But she could stop throwing her plate on the floor when she's done eating. I'd be fine with that.

Facing My Fears

Tomorrow is my first 'real' day on the 'job'. What I am calling my first real day of staying home full time.

And I guess that makes it time for me to admit my biggest fear with staying home full time.

You might guess it to be that I will regret my decision. No, I know this wont be easy, I know that there will be days when I long for the corporate world. But regret no, I will never regret this time.

You might think it is that Im worried about how this will affect us financially. No, I know things will be tighter but we are figuring it out and I trust that Jordan knows what he's doing! ;)

You might think Im worried that I'll become a 250 lb woman who just sits on the couch eating and watching soaps all day. Ha! not quite...I dont think sitting down is even listed in this job description!

So what is my biggest fear?

Well let me start with this...

I havent been able to be in our church service in a few weeks due to the holidays and my nursery duty schedule. I was SO looking forward to today. To hearing a great message from God's word and to have Him speak to me through that.

And I wasnt disappointed.

We were in Habakkuk. Yes, that's a real book in the bible. I haven't ventured there much either! or at all.

But the gist of the first chapter is, "How to worship when your world is falling apart" or it could have been titled, "Where are you God?!?"

Habakkuk spends the first 4 verses basically questioning God and saying, Why? Why are we surrounded by wicked? Why haven't you done anything about this? Why arent you keeping your promise to deal with the unrighteous. Why aren't you listening to my cry? Why are you indifferent to this problem?

Well God explains in verse 5 that if Habakkuk would just quit his complaining and questiong and LOOK AROUND, he would see that God was doing His good work, fulfilling His promises. He was in fact MOViNG NATIONS to deal with the nation of Israel. God was saying, Habakkuk, I am answering your prayers...I'm doing it on MY schedule and you are refusing to see the awesome and wonderous things all around you!

Pastor led us to other great men of the bible who have questioned God:

Job, David, Jeremiah and even Jesus, our Lord and Savior - "My God, My God, Why hast thou forsaken me?" (Matt 27:46) And in each case God knew what He was doing. God was in control and was working His masterful plan.

I love that. I love knowing that even when I cannot see it or understand it, God's plan is still soverign and right and failproof. I love it that in the end...my God ALWAYS wins.

So that leads me back to staying home. As I said in previous posts Jordan and I both feel humbled to look back over our lives together and to see how God has set this decision in motion long ago. That there are so many things that seemed trivial to us or that we just thought, Why? Why now? But NOW they make sense. Now we know WHY, now we know WHY NOW.

Its awesome.

And 3 weeks ago, 5 weeks ago, I was so confident in this decision. So ready for this adventure so pumped to get started.

But in all my sinful ways. Now that the time is here and now that the excitement of making the decision is over...my biggest fear is grabbing hold of my heart and causing me to doubt. And you know whose bringing that biggest fear - Satan. 1 Peter 5:8 "Be sober, be vigilant, for your adversary, the devil, as a roaring lion walketh about seeking whom He may devour.

So even though I KNOW I'm walking in God's plan. Following His will for us right now. I have doubts and fears because I'm so fickle, so weak, so easily swayed that I let him (Satan) in to try and devour me!

So I'm admitting my fear and moving on from it.

My fear is that at the end of the day, or the end of the first week or month...my kids might look at me and say, "Gee mom, when are you going back to work? Cause daycare and grandma's house are sure a lot more fun than you!"

That might sound crazy but really...I'm not really that fun. And I can have a short temper and I like to keep my house picked up and I require them to eat meals and not snack all day and I dont provide CONSTANT entertainment like grandma and daycare do.

So there, that's my fear. And after admitting it I will be mindful of it and I will remember to BE fun, to sit with my kids and play and learn and read and laugh with them - EVERY DAY. And I will force myself to remember that the laundry can wait and the floor can be dirty. And I will remind myself that these years are fading fast and I better hold on now for all that I can.

And I will remind myself that God's plan and God's will are being done. God reminded me today in church and I pray that He will continue to remind me of this. That He is in control and that Satan is full of lies and deceit that will not win.

Habakkuk 3:19 "The Soverign Lord is my strength and he will make my feet like deers feet, and he will enable me to go on the heights."

Love that promise. And with that...Im going on to the heights.

New Year's Day!

Its hard to believe another entire year has passed. It seems to happen in the blink of an eye.

I am welcoming 2010 with a feeling of true excitement and joy in my heart. I can vividly see how the Lord worked in our lives through 2009 and I believe that 2010 holds some great things for our family. I am praying for a safe, happy and healthy new year with opportunities to serve our Savior and follow in His guidance daily.